What if Part 3
by SiennaS
Summary: Final installment of Johnny & Gen's story. -
1. Chapter 1

_Okay, so I'm back with the third and final section of this story, again. Apparently the Gods that run this site decided I'd committed some Cardinal sin and removed it without warning. I posted a blurb about it on my bio page as at the time I had no other way to let those who were originally following this story know what was going on. I also tried communicating with those in charge, but heard nothing back, so I'm not sure if I'm allowed to repost this or not. Going to anyway and see what happens. I'm still angry and haven't decided if I'll post anything more beyond this story. Anyway...trying again.  
_

 _This was originally taken directly from the episode women. The episode took place much earlier in the series than this story, but it works and I like the idea of Christie as an antagonist. Again, fair warning. This story is not entirely period correct and does contain what some would call a Mary Sue character. You don't like those type of stories, then don't read._

* * *

Johnny walked into the day room and met Cap as he was hanging up the phone.

"Where is she?"

"Well, if she were a normal type girl she'd be out powdering her nose, but I think I saw her arguing with the brick wall…and she's winning."

Cap chuckled and shook his head. "Well I just talked to Dick Friend and he wants us to keep her around her until at least supper time."

John sank into the chair and picked up a cookie. The last thing he wanted to do was babysit this obviously bias reporter. "Yeah, I know. For the good of the program. If she hangs around here anymore we're not going to have a program."

"Cap," Marco walked in. "You're wanted on the phone in the office."

"Yeah, thank you, Marco."

"You know, Johnny," Roy began from where he sat across the table. "If you stopped riding her, maybe she'd write something nice. You know I think she's very talented."

Was Roy out of his mind? Eyes wide, Johnny stared at his partner. He couldn't be hearing Roy right because if he was it meant Roy was taking sides. He sat straight up and stared at Roy. "You want to fight a fire with her?"

"Roy, Gage is right," Chet added. "She's about as talented as a tapeworm."

"Well, she's just going through a stage. She's young," Roy defended.

Amazed by his partner's obvious blindness when it came to this girl, Johnny once again leaned back in his chair. "Oh yeah, young. I know. She's just a little baby. A baby barracuda." He bit into his cookie.

"A baby barracuda, huh?" Christie's voice carried in from the doorway.

 _Oh man!_ "A baby barracuda, eavesdropper," John corrected.

She leaned a hand against the table and smiled down at him. "We use what talent's we have, Johnny baby."

* * *

It was crazy to be excited over such a small event, but Genevieve really couldn't help herself. After spending the last eight weeks stuck in the sling, waiting for her arm to heal, she couldn't wait to finally start her next phase of rehabilitation. Of course, the time between her first surgery, which nearly took her life, and the second to actually repair her arm cost her an additional two weeks. She'd spent those two weeks in the hospital undergoing a myriad of tests as the doctors struggled to nail down her allergy.

Her new medical alert bracelet clanked against the door handle as she made her way back out to the waiting room where Emily Stanley sat reading a book. Emily looked up and an immediate grin tipped her lips as she met Gen's gaze. "I'm guessing that smile means good news?"

"It does." Gen replied. "I'll tell you in the car and I was wondering if you might be willing to drop me at the station house so I can share my good news with the guys?"

Emily glanced at her watch and nodded. "Sure. I have some errands to do this afternoon so I'll drop you off and then pick you back up in a few hours. Sound good?"

Gen beamed with excitement. This was the first really good news she'd had since before her father died. "Sounds perfect."

She could barely sit still in the car on the ride over to 51's. Maybe she'd really lost her mind. After all, what person with half a brain would be excited to start physical therapy? Though, if she'd hadn't contracted an infection at the incision site she probably would have already began physical therapy. Either way, it was the next step in her recovery process and would bring her one step closer to her returning to work.

Emily pulled up in front of the station and Gen hopped out. A part of her missed being at the station, so even if the guys were on a call, she'd just let herself in and wait. Eager to share her good news, Gen practically ran up to the front door to peer in. She potted Cap in his office and lifted a hand to knock. Before she could, Captain Stanley pushed back his chair, stood and headed toward her. Grinning, he opened the door, then gave her a gentle hug. "What are you doing here? I thought Emily was taking you for an appointment with your orthopedist?"

Gen pulled back and nodded. "She did. The incision site has healed and the infection's gone. Doctor Foster has given me permission to start physical therapy next week." It was the best news she's heard in quite some time.

"That's great, hon, but what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to share the news with the guys." Her smile turned just a bit sheepish as she bit down on her lip. "I also might have missed this place just a little."

Cap grinned. "I have some paperwork to finish, but you know where to find the guys."

She stepped out into the apparatus room and took a moment to simply enjoy the feel of being back where she belonged. It was hard to believe it had been two months since that fateful day when she'd nearly ended her career in order to save Johnny's life. There wasn't a single doubt in her mind that if need be she'd do it all again. Still, it was nice to be back, even if it was only for a visit.

As she approached the door to the day room a female voice drifted out to greet her and Gen frowned. Just who in the hell was here? By the sounds of things whoever the woman, she was giving Gen's guys the what for."

"It's like you're all afraid of something and you know what it is? It's us. Women."

Gen stopped in the door way and leaned her good shoulder against the frame as she watched the blonde rail on her guys.

"That's right," the woman continued. "I've been watching you guys perform. A few routine skills here a little heroics there. A lot of mutual backslapping. Oh, I always knew this fire station was a private male club. Now I understand why you guys have got to keep it a secret. To hide the fact that women could do your job just as well as well as men."

"You're right," Gen couldn't resist. "They can. And they do."

She caught Johnny's grin in her peripheral vision as the others all cheered and dropped what they were doing to greet her.

"Uh, who are you?" the blonde questioned.

"I could ask you the same question," Gen shot back right before Mike enveloped her in a hug.

Johnny pushed away from the table. "Um….Christie Todd this is Genevieve Conti. Gen, say hello to Christie Todd on assignment here from Flange magazine."

"You're Genevieve?" Christie asked.

Gen grinned as she gave Chet a quick kiss on the cheek then turned back to the blonde. "That's right. Why?"

"Well, it's just the guys tried to tell me that they had a female firefighter on their shift, but since you wasn't here I assumed they were feeding me lies."

"Well it's not lie." Gen arched a brow. "How long have you been working for the magazine?"

"Four months. Before that I worked for a small press in Seattle while I finished college. Why?"

"So you've only been in LA for a few months?"

Christie nodded. "Why?'

"No reason. Just curious." Considering this woman's attitude, it was probably best not to tell her about the Barlow incident. It was men like William Barlow who gave women like Christie Todd the preconceived idea that the fire department was anti-woman. Since Ms. Todd didn't know about Barlow, Gen wasn't going to bring it up. Instead she continued on. "Anyway, this is my shift and these are my guys and I don't appreciate you coming in here and accusing them of being a bunch of lying chauvinists." She barely managed to resist a grin at the realization that Ms. Todd bristled at her statement.

"Well, except for you, the department is full of men. If that doesn't scream of oppression then I don't know what does."

Gen couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled up her throat. _Was this chick for real?_ "Oppression? You can't possibly be serious?"

"I'm completely serious. What other reason would there be for the department not having more women working as fire fighters?"

The woman was really starting to get on Gen's nerves. "Maybe it's because women in general don't have much interest in fighting fires and getting all dirty and grimy and disgusting."

Christie's eyes widened with Gen's statement. "How can you have such an antiquated attitude about your own gender?"

Gen shrugged. "I just call it as I see it. After all, it's not like there is any department policy forbidding women working as fire fighters. Actually," Gen inwardly grinned. "If you'd bothered to do your research before you came, you would know that not only do I work here, but that we have two women in the academy right now. Times are a changing at the LA County Fire Department, Ms. Todd. So I'm afraid you'll have to find some other male dominated career on which to impose your women's lib nonsense.

Christie opened her mouth, then closed it again as her face slowly turned red. She said nothing for a moment, then her eyes widened and Gen prepared for round two. "So if you work here, then why aren't you working today?"

Gen arched a brow. Was this woman for real? "Um, note the sling?" Gen motioned to her left arm, still protected by the sling. "I can't work when I'm injured."

"And just how did you get injured?" Christie challenged. "Did you get hurt on the job?"

"As a matter of fact, I did," Gen shot back.

"So how can you be sure they didn't allow you to get injured on purpose?"

That did it. Gen's temper flared and she took a step forward the so called reporter. "Now listen here. I believe everyone has a right to their opinion, but no way am I going to stand by and allow you cast aspersions like that. These men are the finest crew in the department and I'm honored to be able to work with them. I trust them with my life every day and I'm humbled that they trust me with theirs."

"Then how did you get hurt?"

"She dislocated her shoulder saving Johnny's life," Chet piped up. "They'd climbed over the side of a building to save two people and were hanging fifteen stories in the air when Johnny's line broke." Chet shook his head. "If she hadn't caught him when he started to fall, he wouldn't be here now."

Christie looked from Chet to Gen her eyes wide with shock. "Is what he's saying true?"

Gen arched a brow. "What? Do you think he's lying to you again? Want to see Cap's incident report? How about my x-rays and medical records? How about you follow me to the locker room and I'll show you the nice scar I have from my surgery?"

Christie bit down on her bottom lip and shook her head. "No, uh…I believe you." She glanced from Gen to Johnny and back. "I-I'm sorry. Maybe I did come in with some preconceived notions about the department. Do you have some time to talk?"

Sensing victory, Gen eased back. "Sure. I'll tell you anything you want to know, just so long as you remain fair and impartial like a reporter is supposed to be."

Christie nodded. "Maybe I did come in with some preconceived notions about what went on inside the fire department."

Just then the tones sounded. "Station 51, engine 10, truck 8, building explosion. 25435 Murdock Avenue. Cross street Butterworth. Time out 13:30." Gen rotated on her heel, took one step and caught herself. _Damn!_

She stepped through the door into the apparatus room and watched as they all rushed for the vehicles. Seconds later, with sirens wailing both vehicles pulled out of the bays and onto the road. Her heart ached as she watched them leave. She'd give damn near anything to be back to work.


	2. Chapter 2

With the guys now out of sight Gen turned back to the day room and blew out a breath. _What to do?_ In an attempt to busy herself she began cleaning. With her arm still in a sling the process would be slow, but then it wasn't as if she had any place to go. She closed and piled the magazines on the end table next to the couch, then one-by-one, she carried what was left of the dishes to the sink.

She studied the dished for a moment. If she held the dish with her disabled arm and washed with her good hand then she could probably finish the dishes. Besides, in four days she'd start physical therapy, so what was the harm?

Careful not to jar her shoulder too much, she slid her arm free of the sling, set it aside and turned back to the sink. With some nervousness, she tested her arm, moving it slightly. _No pain!_ That was definitely a good sign. She'd make sure to keep it close to her side and not extend her range of motion too far. Using the countertop as a rest she began washing the dishes.

Radio conversations from the field echoed through the empty apparatus bay and drifted into the day room, reminding her of everything she was missing. _Squad thirty-nine cancel. Truck one-ten we have a tow truck on the way._ Then she heard Captain Stanley call for an ambulance. She paused, to listen closer and when his didn't call a Code I she let out a breath. At least none of the guys were injured.

She set the last dish in the drainer and began cleaning the counter. To say she missed this place would be an understatement. Over the last few years it had seeped into her system until it had become a part of her. _Don't let your career consume you, baby girl._ Her dad's words echoed through her head as she moved to mop down the table. Hadn't she done exactly what her father warned her not to do?

Nearly all her friends were other fire fighters or relatives of fire fighters. She'd worked overtime whenever possible and even on her days off spent time with the guys. She'd come to define who she was by what she did. What would she do if this injury ended up being what they all feared? Who would Genevieve Conti be then? Maybe there was more of little Zenaveiva Petrov left in her than she thought. If so, who was that little Russian girl she ceased being when she was five and what would she want to do with her life?

Confused and frustrated, she tossed the washcloth in the sink and headed for the dorm. She pushed open the door and stood in the doorway taking in in the room, noting how the curtain still surrounded her bed. They hadn't touched a thing. Her initial days here had been a bit of an adjustment for all of them, but these guys, _her guys_ , had come to accept her with open arms. Before she realized what had happened she'd suddenly inherited brothers and a father figure in Captain Stanley.

 _Then there was Johnny._ Her relationship with him had grown more complicated and confusing in recent weeks. She walked over to his bunk and sat down. Just what kind of relationship did she want with him? He loved her, he'd told her as much. She closed her eyes and touched her lips as she remembered the kisses they now shared quite frequently. _I love him so much!_

 _What about your career?_ _Would the department make you leave 51 if you took your relationship with Johnny to the next level?_ The idea of leaving the haven of station 51 scared the hell out of her. That Christie reporter chick was more right about the fire department than Gen really wanted to admit. Living through hell all through the academy and then again at Station 8 left her a bit gun shy. While the overall attitude in the department had changed since she joined, she couldn't help but wonder what HQ would think of a romance between two of its members? Her heart ached at the idea of distancing herself from Johnny just to save her slot at the station. _There are other options!_ She could always see if she could switch to one of the other shifts to stay at the station. _Then you'd rarely see Johnny._

Gen frowned as she considered that fact. Fire prevention and dispatch were options. As were the arson investigation unit or just going back to be a nurse. Though none of those options sounded all that appealing, they did exist. Still, all those options took her off the front line, which didn't set well. _You may not have a choice!_ She glanced down at her shoulder. What if she couldn't rehab it to meet the requirements? She rubbed her temple. All this thinking was only confusing her more, not to mention giving her a headache.

* * *

Covered in dust and trying to avoid the debris from the previous explosion, Johnny worked his way over to where Marco had spotted the trapped little girl. With another bomb schedule to go off in less than five minutes, he commando crawled beneath the small table to get to the child. "Are you hurt, honey?"

The little blonde haired girl shook her head at him, her eyes wild with fear.

A visual assessment returned no apparent injuries and John moved to quickly clear the remaining debris pinning the child down. He scooped her into his arms and turned to hand her off to Marco. "Get her out of here fast. There's another bomb. Hurry," he shouted, then proceeded to kick away the wreckage threatening to entangle him.

He scurried from beneath the table only to have his back bump a precariously perched beam. He'd barely made it a step when the wood slammed down on his left leg, pinning him. Pain rocketed through is leg and knee and he nearly let out a shout as a sudden shot of fear consumed him at the realization that he was now trapped. _I'm gonna die in here._

Then a memory of Gen flashed through is mind. What would happen to her if he died? Still suffering from the aftereffects of her father's passing and John's own near death experience just a little over a month ago, could she survive if he died now? _I can't leave her._ Using every bit of strength remaining, he pushed at the beam with his free foot and did his best to ignore the resulting pain.

It only took a few seconds to ease from beneath the beam, but once free he now had another problem. His leg hurt so bad he wasn't sure he could walk. Doing his best he pushed to his feet and hobbled on one foot toward the door. He was nearly to the steps when he tripped and fell, landing hard on his shoulder and knocking the wind out of him. _So close._ He could see daylight at the top of the rickety steps.

Then a shadow appeared and before he realized it, Roy was rushing toward him with flashlight in hand. "Come on." Roy set the flashlight down and helped John to his feet. "Let's get out of here."

Using Roy as a crutch John scrambled up the steps and outside. He hopped on one foot down the outside stairs and race arm-in-arm away from the building with Roy. He felt the concussion from the explosion mere seconds before the sound reached his ears, yet he still didn't look back until safely ensconced behind the squad.

He took one look at the building then slowly dropped to the ground and held his injured leg. _That was too close._ It took a couple of minutes before any of them could catch their breath and process what almost happened. Roy was the first to speak as he switched from stunned friend back into paramedic mode and began assessing John's leg. "How bad does it hurt?" He palpated the skin that was already starting to bruise and swell.

"A lot," John didn't bother to try and hide the pain. He simply didn't have the energy required to put up a fight.

Roy frowned. "I can't tell if it's broken, but you definitely did some damage." He yelled over his shoulder. "Cap, I need to take Johnny to the hospital."

"Do you need an ambulance?" Cap called back.

"No." Roy shook his head. "I can take him in the squad."

"Then go." Cap waved them on. "We don't really need you guys here."

"Come on. Let's get you to Rampart." Roy helped Johnny to his feet. Christie opened the squad door and slid into the middle then took Johnny's hat from him while Roy helped him ease into the seat. Roy closed the door, ran around the front of the squad and took off with lights and siren's running.

John leaned his head back against the seat and groaned as his thoughts once again turned back to Genevieve. Even though he was in one piece and would recover, he had a feeling she wasn't going to handle the news of his injury very well. "Oh man, Gen is going to freak when she finds out about this."

The sound of the overhead door engaging pulled Gen from her thoughts and she climbed from where she'd been sitting the bunk to see who had returned. She opened the dorm door and waited until the engine came to a complete stop and the guys climbed down. "Where's the squad?" Gen nodded to the empty spot in the bay where the squad usually parked.

"They had to go to the hospital," Chet replied.

"Oh, okay." It wasn't unusual for squad to run a follow up to the hospital after a call.

Mike climbed from the truck and stopped as a frown claimed his face. "Genevieve, where is your sling?"

Gen glanced from Mike to her shoulder and back. "I-um. I took it off to do dishes and I just haven't put it back on yet."

Cap came around the back of the engine and stopped, hands on hips he too frowned down at her. "And why were you doing the dishes?"

"I was trying to keep busy while I waited for you guys to return."

"You need to get that brace back on before you damage that shoulder even more," Mike scolded.

Gen nodded. "You're right, but before you get too mad at me, you should know the whole reason I came by was to tell you guys my good news."

"Which is?" Mike folded his arms across his chest and gave Gen that 'big brother' look she was starting to see more and more from him.

"Doctor Foster said I could start physical therapy on Monday. So having the brace off right now isn't a huge deal. Besides, I was careful."

Just then the phone rang and Cap sighed. "I'll be right back. Mike, make sure she puts that sling back on."

"No problem, Cap."

"Now wait a minute," Gen bristled at Cap's statement. "I'm a big girl and I was careful."

"Yes, well, let's just make sure you stay careful. Now where's the sling?"

"Over protective much?" Gen rolled her eyes skyward and headed for the dayroom where she'd left her sling laying on the counter. With Mike watching over her she just got it positioned correctly when Cap walked back in.

"That was Roy."

On those three words Gen paused and looked up at Cap as a sick fear crawled through her system. "I thought you said the squad was on follow up at Rampart?"

"They are." Cap nodded. "For Johnny."

Gen's eyes widened and Cap raised a hand before she could speak. "Now don't go getting all upset. He injured his leg on the call and Roy took him to the hospital as a precaution. As it turns out they want to keep him overnight for observation."

Gen fought to keep her stomach from turning sour. "Well, how bad was he hurt?"

"He was able to put pressure on the leg so I don't think it's too bad," Cap replied. "Since Roy has to wait for his replacement he said he'd come get you and take you over to Rampart."

Twenty minutes later Gen sat in the squad while Roy drove back to Rampart. "Where's your reporter chick?"

Roy made a left hand turn. "She said she had some notes to organize so she stayed behind at the hospital." He glanced over at her. "He's okay, you know."

Gen nodded even as old insecurities resurfaced. "I know. The guys explained what happened and I guess I'm just a little freaked."

"Understandable. Just don't get too wigged out in front of Christie. We don't need to give her any more ammo."

Gen frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you and Johnny. We all know and understand your situation and we've been careful about keeping it quiet. However, being a reporter, Christie is just itching to dig up dirt on the department. The last thing you two need right now is your relationship plastered all over the pages of a magazine."

"She doesn't know anything," Gen replied.

"No, but Johnny already voiced his concern that you were going to be upset. She's curious now and looking for answers."


	3. Chapter 3

Gen pushed open the door to Johnny's hospital room and relief swamped her when she found him sitting up in bed watching television. The guys assured her he wasn't injured badly, but knowing Johnny she hadn't been completely convinced until she could see him for herself.

He turned his head toward her and immediately broke into a huge smile. "Hey, beautiful."

She stepped inside and let the door slowly close. A moment of déjà vu hit her as memories of the morning after their accident came flooding back. The pain and anguish of that day seemed just as fresh as if it were all happening for the first time. In that moment she couldn't help but question their relationship. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that she loved him, but right now that love was based on a bond of friendship. If she allowed him to have any more of her heart how many times would she find herself fearing for his life? How many times would she do this exact thing before she lost her mind or worse yet, lost him for real?

A sudden wave of anger washed through her and she folded her good arm across her chest. "Hey, yourself."

Johnny's smile faltered. "What's wrong? Didn't Roy explain everything?"

"Yes."

"Then why do you look mad?"

"I'm not mad." Gen barely resisted stomping her foot like a petulant child. "Not exactly anyway."

"Then what is it, because the look on your face says otherwise."

She hadn't meant to take her frustrations out on him, but ever since the accident controlling her emotions seemed to be more difficult. Gen rolled her eyes and sighed. "Okay, so maybe I'm a little mad."

"Why?"

The last thing she wanted was to fight with him. Not when she was still battling with herself. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh no." Johnny pointed a finger at her. "You come stomping in here like some angry bull then tell me forget about it? Not happing, sweetheart. Now what's got your ire up?"

Well if he was going to push her. "You," she finally shot back.

"Me?" John pressed a hand to his chest. "What did I do?"

"It's what you didn't do that has me upset."

"Honey, you're starting to sound like Chet when he talks in riddles. What are you trying to say?"

"I'm mad because you weren't careful, Johnny." She began to pace as a sudden shot of nervous energy coursed through her veins. Why couldn't he see how his reckless nature cause her stress?

"What do you mean I wasn't careful? How do you know I wasn't careful?"

She stopped and looked directly at him. "Because you're never careful with you." She raked a hand through her hair, nearly tangling her fingers in the curls. "When you're in the moment you're entirely focused on the victim and your safety is secondary. It's a blessing and a detriment."

John arched a brow. "How do you figure?"

"Because the same trait that makes you an excellent paramedic is also the same trait that makes you an accident magnet." Unable to focus she resumed pacing. "You're so entirely focused on others that you don't take the time to look out for yourself. You're not as careful with _you_ as you are with others and this-" She motioned to the room. "Is the result."

"And that's the reason you're mad?" John clarified.

"Yes. No. Oh hell, I don't know," she sighed. "I just wish you'd spend as much time thinking about your own safety as you do others." She scuffed her foot along the tile floor, knowing what she was about to say sounded horrible. "When you get hurt, those of us who care about you get dragged into the aftermath and sometimes it's a damn scary ride."

For a moment Johnny remained silent and stared at her. The look on his face had her questioning her choice of words. "You know what? I get what you're saying and you're right. I do tend to take some unnecessary risks, but let's make one thing very clear." He pushed up a bit further in the bed and leveled a look on her she recognized as a challenge.

"It's no picnic being on that end when it's you in this bed. Don't think for a moment that I wasn't scared out of my mind when Brackett told me they'd nearly lost you during surgery. Every minute you were tied to those machines seemed like a damn year. All I could think about was how empty my life would be if you didn't make it."

He paused as he raised a hand and pointed a finger at her. "And not to bring up bad memories, but I know a certain paramedic who may have very well ended her career because she was thinking about someone else's safety instead of her own. I also know she'd do it again in a heartbeat. So don't you dare stand there and lecture me until you're willing to follow the same rules."

In an instant her anger deflated and her shoulders slumped as she hung her head. He was right. She was just as guilty of taking unnecessary risks as he was. "You're right," she murmured.

"Come here sweetheart." She looked up to see him staring at her, his arms open. Slowly she walked over to the side of the bed where she sank to the mattress next to him. "I'm sorry," she whispered and rested her head on his shoulder as she closed her eyes against a sudden wave of emotion. "It's just too soon since…" she couldn't even bring herself to say the words.

"I know," he slipped an arm around her and pulled her a little tighter. "It's all right. I'm all right."

"I know," She sighed against his shoulder. "I'm sorry. My emotions are still all over the map and I just can't quite get a good grip on them."

He pushed her to arm's length, a serious look now claiming his features. "Have you talked with the therapist like Brackett wanted?"

Gen shook her head. It had been two months since the accident happened and in those weeks four times she'd attempted to schedule and then cancel each appointment. "I know he won't release me without the visits, but right now everything is so fresh. Simply getting through each day is tough enough without being forced to rehash painful memories."

With his thumb, he wiped away tears she didn't know existed. When in the hell had she started crying? "Believe me when I say I understand. I've never been high on the idea of sharing your most personal thoughts and feelings with some stranger. Still, there is only so much support I and the others can give you. He brushed the stray hair from her face and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "You need to talk with someone who is qualified to give you the tools you need to get through this. Unfortunately, that means working with a therapist and facing some fears."

Before she could respond the tale tell squeak of the door opening had her jumping from the bed and quickly wiping her tears. The guys all knew her situation with Johnny, but they didn't need any wayward rumors started by some disgruntled nurse Johnny had dated and dumped.

"Oh, I'm sorry," came Christie's voice from behind Gen. "I didn't mean to interrupt anything."

"You're not interrupting," Gen said as she turned to face Christie

"Well, good." Christie smiled as her attention shifted from Gen to Johnny and back. "I just wanted to see how Johnny was doing before I returned to the station with Roy."

"I'm good," Johnny grinned. "Brackett says I'll be out of here before noon tomorrow."

"That's great." Christie returned her attention to Gen. "Um… I have to go back to the station with Roy and you promised me an interview."

Gen nodded. "Right. Well, if you want to catch up with me later we'll talk. Since I can't drive yet, I'm still staying with Captain Stanley and his family. You can get the address from him if you want."

* * *

Later than evening, Gen sat on the loveseat in the Stanley's sunroom with her legs crossed. Christie took up residence in the chair across from her. "So I want to stress that William Barlow's actions are those of one man and doesn't represent the department as a whole." She'd nearly groaned when Christie informed her she'd done some additional research and wanted to know about the Barlow incident.

Dredging up the ugly memories was difficult, but allowing Christie to get the wrong impression about the fire department would be worse. Hopefully her answer would satisfy the reporter.

"Sounds like you've had it pretty rough."

Gen shrugged. "Maybe, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. Besides, I have a wonderful support system."

Christie shifted in the chair. "Yes, let's talk a bit about that. I get the impression the guys you work with are very protective of you. Doesn't it bother you to be coddled?"

 _Coddled?_ Gen arched a brow. "You call it coddling, I call it being loved. They care about me and they look out for me, but when we're on a call together I'm just like any of them. There's no favoritism or coddling as you call it."

"But they all seem especially worried about you. Why is that?"

For a moment, Gen turned her attention out the windows and focused on the tree line at the back of the yard as she considered the question. Just how much did she want to share? "I've had a rough road recently with my father dying and then Johnny's accident. Plus, they all know I'm facing an uncertain future right now. If I can't rehab my shoulder up to the standards needed to effectively do my job, then my career is over." It was the first time she'd actually said the words out loud and boy did they taste bitter on her tongue.

She picked at the fuzz from the blanket draped across her lap. "I love what I do, Christie, and the idea of not being able to do that job anymore is terrifying. Mostly I try not to think about it."

"Why did you come to the stationhouse today?"

Gen grinned. That was an easy question. "I was excited because I got clearance to start physical therapy and I wanted to share the good news. Then I heard you railing on the guys and quite frankly, it pissed me off. You see, as protective as they are of me, I'm just as protective of them. Hearing you chew on them the way you were ruffled my feathers. Those are my guys and nobody rails on my guys without getting through me first."

Christie shook her head and laughed. "I can't believe how wrong I was about the department and your shift mates in particular. From the outside it appeared to be nothing more than a good ole' boys club, but in reality you're a tight knit family that looks out for each other."

 _Finally!_ Happy that Christie was finally getting it, Gen nodded. "That's it exactly. When you trust others with your life you tend to grow close to those same people."

Christie nodded in agreement. "I understand. Though I have to admit, I'm still not sure what I think of Johnny."

An automatic grin tipped Gen's lips. "He is a bit of a character and completely harmless."

"I think you're being generous in your description of him. Seems to me, he's got a bit of a superior attitude."

Now it was Gen's turn to laugh. "Not really. You see if you come in with preconceived ideas or carrying an attitude, he's automatically going to give you one back. That's just how he is. He doesn't like people who judge others without getting to know them first."

Christie eyed Gen. "You seem to know him pretty well and I get the distinct impression that maybe you and he are a bit closer than the rest of the guys."

Realizing she was suddenly treading dangerous territory, Gen nodded. "You could say that. He's been there for me not only through the Barlow situation, but even more when my dad died. Though I think the accident may have made us even closer."

Christie closed her notebook and stuffed the pen into the spiral binding. "Can I ask you a question off the record?"

"I suppose."

"Are you and Johnny a couple?"

And there it was. She'd half expected Christie to pose the question, and had been considering how she would answer. If she spoke the truth and Christie decided to expose it to the world, the fall out with the department could be ugly. After the Barlow incident the last thing they would want would be another scandal. Worse yet, if Christie chose to write something negative or derogatory that could also impact Gen and the department. "What do you mean by couple?"

"I mean are you dating outside of work?"

"Of course not." She felt the impact of her words mere seconds after she said them and it hurt just as bad as having to admit her career might be over. "I mean there isn't any department policy against co-workers dating, but I don't think HQ would think too highly of it if we did. Besides, I've got way too much going on in my life right now to try and deal with the complications a relationship causes." _Just keep piling on the lies, Conti! Keep it up and you can be Pinocchio's sister._

Christie nodded. "So you're just friends?"

The words felt like an arrow to her heart, but there was only one answer she could give and still keep the possibility of returning to work alive. "Good friends. Best Friends, but yes we're just friends."

"Good. Then you wouldn't mind if I asked him out?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Hell yeah I mind." Emily Stanley shook her head. "That's what you should have said, Genevieve. Instead of simply letting that…that woman, swoop in and take your man."

Gen played with her coffee mug, turning it in a slow circle while she listened to Emily lecture. "I couldn't do that."

"Why not?" Emily jabbed her hands against her hips. "You love Johnny, don't you?"

Gen cocked her head to the side and wearily eyed Emily. "You know I do."

"Then why not lay claim to him?"

Gen sighed. "He's not some pet up for adoption. Besides, I can't do that to him."

"Do what to him?" Emily shot back. "For God's sake, Gen, it's obvious to any woman with half a brain that you two are meant for each other."

Gen shook her head. "I think you're reading more into this than what's there."

Emily took the seat across from her. "And I think you're in denial."

"It's not denial, Em. Yes, I love him, but I also know that I'm not in any condition to take on a serious relationship right now. I am a mental mess with a ton of issues to work through. It wouldn't be fair of me to saddle Johnny with my problems. He deserves to have a life."

Emily reached across the table and took Gen's hand in hers. "You're making excuses in order to distance yourself, Gen. Stop it before you end up losing everything."

"I'm not distancing myself." _Yes you are!_ "I-I'm just being realistic. We're like oil and water. Not really all that compatible."

Emily frowned. "I know he can be a bit immature at times, but don't underestimate the boy, honey. He loves you and I'm pretty sure he'd go through hell and back for you."

"What if I don't want him too?" Gen pulled away and picked up her cup. "It's bad enough that I'm going through hell. Why in the world would I want to drag the man I love through it with me?"

"Because I doubt that there is any place he'd rather be than by your side. The question you have to ask yourself is what are your real reasons for not telling Christie about you and Johnny."

Gen felt her brow knit and she cocked her head to the side and stared at Emily. "What do you mean?"

"I've seen you with Johnny, Genevieve. I see the way you look at each other and honestly I can't remember the last time I'd seen two people more compatible or more in love. Everything you said to me is nothing more than some lame excuse you using to hide an underlying reason for not telling Christie the truth." Emily had no sooner finished her sentence when the phone rang.

"Think about what I said." She pointed a finger at Gen as she got up to answer the call. "Hello. Oh, hi Johnny. Yeah, she's right here." Emily placed her hand over the receiver and turned back to Gen. "You need to be honest with yourself and with him."

Gen nodded as she walked over to take the phone from Emily. "Hey Johnny."

"Hey, beautiful. I'm sorry if I'm calling at a bad time."

"No." Gen shook her head despite knowing he couldn't see her. "It's fine. What's up?"

"Well I'm calling for two reasons."

"Which are?"

"First, I wanted to let you know that they released me and I'm home now. So if you need to get ahold of me call my place, not the hospital."

"Okay, what's the other reason?"

"Well…" There was a long pause and Gen had a feeling she knew what he was about to say.

"Christie came by the hospital this morning."

Yep, this was going exactly where Gen wished it wouldn't. "She said she might."

"Well, she did and Gen, she asked me out."

The shock in his voice made her smile. Like a women couldn't ask a man out? "Really? And what did you say?"

Again her question met silence and Gen suddenly regretted her decision. "Johnny, what did you say?"

"I wasn't sure at first," he replied, his voice filled with concern. "But she was so insistent, and then she said that you told her to ask me. Did you?"

"She asked me if we were a couple. I didn't want her writing something scandalous, so I told her no. That's when she asked me if I wouldn't mind if she asked you out. What was I supposed to say?"

"Yeah, I understand. Which is also why I said yes."

Gen would have sworn she could hear her heart slowly cracking. Why? Why would he say yes when he could have easily said no? "Y-you…said…yes?"

"Baby, you told her to ask me."

"No, I didn't," Gen argued as she fought to hold back her tears. How could he toss her aside so quickly? "She asked me if I would mind if she asked you out. What was I supposed to say, Johnny? If I said yes, she'd want to know why and I-I couldn't risk her becoming suspicious. If she knew the truth, she could easily ruin my chances of coming back to the station."

Silence met her reply and her heart began to beat a little faster. "Johnny?"

"I'm still here," he replied, his tone sour.

"You understand, don't you?"

"All too well," he said.

His words hit her like a slap to the face. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Johnny replied. "Look, I only said yes because I thought that's what you wanted me to do. If I break the date now, then she'll be suspicious."

"So where does this leave us?" Gen asked, then immediately regretted letting the words out of their thought bubble. Dear God, she didn't really want to know the answer.

"For the moment?"

"At all," Gen replied. Hell, she was in too deep not to know.

"You really want to know the truth?"

 _No!_ "Yes"

A heavy sigh filtered through the phone. "I love you, Genevieve. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my life and I only said yes for your benefit, but I have to be honest. I'm hurt that you're putting a career that's already in question head of our relationship."

The words felt like tiny little arrows piercing her heart, the truth they carried serving as flames burning a giant hole inside her. "I-I'm sorry, Johnny. I didn't…what I mean is I wanted…" Knowing nothing she could say could fix the mess her lies created, she let her sentence trail off. "I just assumed you'd turn her down and that would be end of the issue. I didn't think about the deeper implications of my actions. I took you for granted and I'm sorry."

"I am too, baby. Like I said, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, but I won't take second place in your life."

"What does that mean?" she asked fearing she knew exactly where this conversation was heading.

"It means you need to get you head on straight and figure out what you really want, Genevieve. In the meantime let me deal with Christie."

* * *

Later that afternoon Gen stood in her own bedroom and slowly unpacked her bag. Now that the sling was coming off she could drive again. Which meant it was time for her to stop being a burden to the Stanleys. She removed Bosco from her bag and stared at him for a moment before she pushed her bag to the side and laid down across her bed. Tears welled as she replayed her conversation with Johnny yet again. She'd hurt him and now the very real possibility existed that she might lose him, all because she was so messed up in the head.

The idea of not going back to the station to work frightened her, but the idea of losing Johnny left her feeling cold and empty inside. While she wasn't happy about the idea of choosing a different career path, she could see herself doing something else. She might not be as happy or feel as fulfilled, but options existed for her. However, without Johnny in her life nothing she did would bring her happiness.

It was time she stopped running from her fears and face the pain head on. She pushed up to a sitting position, set Bosco aside and began riffling through her bag. There was still a chance she could save her relationship with Johnny, but she needed help. Turning to her father was no longer an option. He wasn't around to coddle her fragile feelings or trying and make things better for her. She needed to stop being a baby and grow up.

With shaky fingers, she held the business card in her hands and stared at the number. She'd look death in the face twice in her career. She'd stared pure evil directly in the eyes and prevailed. She'd suffered through physical pain on more than one occasion and none of it seemed even half as frightening as what she was about to do.

Slowly, she reached for her bedside phone and dialed the number. This was the only way she could possibly save her relationship with Johnny and not amount of fear was going to stop her this time.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Kirkland's office."

* * *

Two days later Gen eased down in the chair across from an older woman, dressed in pretty pink blouse and black slacks and noted how she felt more than a little under dressed in her jeans and button up blue top.

"Genevieve, I'm glad to see you finally decided to keep this appointment."

Gen could feel the heat lift into her face and she battled against the desire to run and hide. "Well, I thought it was time."

"I understand that you're ready to start your physical therapy."

Gen nodded. "Yes ma'am."

"And Doctor's Bracket and Foster made mandatory therapy a condition of your work release, should you be able to rehabilitate your shoulder to fire department standards."

Gen folded her shaky hands in her lap and nodded.

"I do think it's only fair to tell you now, that if you sole reason for being here is simply to fulfill that requirement then you may be disappointed when I don't sign off on your release."

Dr. Kirkland's warning should have sent fear racing through Gen. Instead, she realize it had no meaning at all. "I don't care about that," Gen replied.

Dr. Kirkland arched a delicate brow. "Then what did finally get you through my office door?"

For a moment, Gen thought about Johnny and the fear his words still brought to her heart. Nothing else mattered. She needed to make herself better for him. She took a deep breath. "My mind is a jumbled mess and because of it I risk losing the man I love. I need your help, Dr. Kirland. I need you to help make me well so I can save my relationship. I don't care how long it takes or how it impacts my ability to return to work. Just help me get better."

A slow grin slid across the doctor's face. "I felt the honesty and sincerity in those words, Gen. Obviously, you weren't ready before, but you are now." She leaned forward and took Gen's hands in hers. "You need to understand, this isn't going to be an easy process, but if you're willing to work for it, I will do everything I can to help make you better. Deal?"

Gen studied their joined hands, thought about Johnny and nodded as she lifted her gaze to meet the doctor's. "Deal."


	5. Chapter 5

_Her shoulder hurt like hell._

At least it matched her mood! Gen walked out of her first physical therapy session feeling dejected and broken. She'd had such high hopes when she arrived. Maybe too high considering the situation. As it turned out, her physical therapist seemed to manage to find every position that caused her pain, then forced her to work through it. If she didn't know better, she would have sworn this session set her back weeks in her recovery. At least that's how it felt right now.

Strange how for two months she'd been told to avoid doing anything that caused her pain and now she was supposed to welcome it. Regardless, right now she needed to go home and ice her shoulder. Maybe while she was at it she would dip into her father's favorite liquor and ice her mood too.

 _Damn Doctor Kirkland!_ Gen's brow knit as her thoughts turned back to her first session with her psychiatrist. She'd had high hopes going into that session too, only to be asked a lot of questions about her feelings. _How do you feel about that?_ _Why do you think you feel that way?_ If she knew why she felt the way she did and why she thought the way she did she wouldn't need the damn psychiatrist in the first place. She'd left that day with frustration in her heart and instructions from Doctor Kirkland to buy a journal and start writing down her feelings. Gen rolled her eyes. As if simply writing her thoughts on a piece of paper would somehow give her the epiphany she needed to get her head on straight.

Now just two days later she was leaving another type of therapy with frustration and another set of instructions, but not seeing even a hint of progress that she could cling to.

Deep in thought and not paying attention, she ran directly into a hard body. "Whoa, Gen where's the fire?" the familiar voice brought her head up and she found herself looking directly into the eyes of 51's 'B' Shift paramedic Bert Dwyer. "Dwyer?" She frowned as she took a moment to assess him, finally realizing after several long seconds that he was indeed on crutches. "What happened to you?"

"Stairs gave way during a fire. I rolled my ankle and tore a ligament."

"Well that sucks. What are you doing here?"

He nodded toward the door. "Just finished physical therapy. How about you?"

"Same." She rubbed at her shoulder. "First session. My shoulder hurts like hell."

Dwyer nodded. "Yeah, my ankle did too. It does get easier as you go."

"I hope so," Gen sighed. "Cause right now I have to admit, I'm a bit disheartened." For more reasons than just her physical therapy session. It had been nearly a week since she'd last spoke with Johnny and she missed him terribly.

"Well hang in there, because I know you'll make it." He shouldered one of the crutches and motioned toward the pay phone. "Look it was great to see you and I don't mean to be rude, but I need to call a cab."

Gen shook her head. "Don't do that. I'd be happy to give you a ride home."

"Yeah?" Dwyer's face brightened.

"Yeah."

"Are you sure it's not a problem?"

"No problem at all."

Dwyer grinned. "Look, I know you're probably spending time with Johnny tonight but-"

"I'm not," she cut him off.

"No?" Dwyer's brow arched in surprise. "Well do you want to grab a pizza somewhere and come over to my place to watch the Dodger game? Being on the injured list is kinda lonely and I'd be grateful for the company."

Now it was Gen's turn to arch a brow.

He held up his hand in defense and nearly lost his crutch in the process. "Just as friends," he clarified. "I know you're Johnny's girl."

"I'm not Johnny's anything," Gen corrected and felt the sting of the words even as she said them. "And I'd love to spend some time with a friend watching baseball. Do you know a good pizza place?"

Dwyer's smile widened. "I have the number memorized. Give me a minute to use the pay phone and order the pizza. That way it will be ready when we get there."

A half hour later, Gen eased back in the recliner, placed the plate of pizza on her lap, then situated the ice pack on her shoulder. She glanced over at Dwyer who lay stretched out on the couch, his ankle propped on a pillow and covered in an ice pack. "We really area a sad sight," she observed.

Dwyer chuckled as he picked up his slice of pizza. "Tell me about it. Sometimes I think there has to be a safer line of work for me. Of course every time I get serious about leaving, I chicken out and go right back at the beast head on."

Gen nodded. "I know what you mean. This damn job gets under your skin like a disease. Once you're hooked its hard as hell to walk away."

"I think that's part of the reason why I'm still single," Dwyer replied. "The women I date don't seem to understand that fact and when forced to choose, I always pick work."

At his statement Gen grew silent as her mind replayed her last conversation with Johnny. She'd done the same thing to Johnny that Dwyer repeatedly did to his dates. She'd chosen her career over love.

"Hey?"

She glanced up to find Dwyer frowning at her. "Did I say something wrong?"

Her appetite now gone, she shook her head as she set her untouched pizza aside. "No."

"Then why do you suddenly look like I kicked your favorite dog?"

"It's nothing." She waved off his question.

"It's not nothing," he pushed. "Now spill it. What's got you looking so sad?"

She sighed. "It's Johnny."

Dwyer nodded. "I had a feeling."

"I took him for granted and accidentally hurt him."

"And?" Dwyer prompted.

"And we're no longer seeing each other."

Dwyer sat straight up. The movement knocked the ice pack of his ankle. "He dumped you?"

She shrugged. "I deserve it."

"Gen-"

She held up a hand and shook her head. "No, Bert. Don't try and make Johnny out to be a villain when it was totally my fault. My head's a mess and I screwed up."

"But you're obviously upset over what he did."

"What I did," she corrected. "I'm upset at myself for not having the guts to stand up and face reality. I'm not upset with him for what he did."

"Do you still love him?"

She gave Dwyer a sad smile. "I'll always love him and maybe someday I'll be able to fix what I've done, but for right now, it's better this way."

"Well," Dwyer sighed and eased back into place. "Just know that no matter what happens with you and Johnny, I'm always you friend, okay?"

Her smile widened. "Thank you, Bert. That means a lot."

By the time Gen returned home that night she was feeling only moderately better. Spending time with Dwyer felt strange, but also cathartic in a way. He was someone from outside their tight knit A-shift crew who she felt comfortable with and knew she could trust. A new friend who didn't have some sort of agenda for getting her and Johnny together or having her back on shift. He simply listened and didn't pass judgement.

If she was going to face the harsh reality of possibly not being able to return to what and who she loved, she could certainly use a few more friends outside her circle, because no way would she be able to survive otherwise. Hanging with the same group of people and not working with them would simply be too painful.

Just as she sat her bag down the phone rang. While she knew better, hope bloomed inside that maybe, just maybe Johnny was calling to talk.

"Hello?"

"Hey sweetheart, it's Uncle Andy."

Immediately hope disappeared and her heart sank. Not that she wasn't happy to hear from her surrogate Uncle, but he wasn't Johnny and more than likely he was calling with more bad news. "Oh hi." She tried not to sound as disappointed as she felt.

"Uh…oh. That's not a good tone. What's wrong?" he asked.

 _Damn!_ She pinched the bridge of her nose. "I've just had a rough few days. So if you're calling with more bad news, I'd really appreciate it if you'd wait to tell me."

"Rough how?" he asked.

She proceeded to explain everything that happened over the last few days only to find herself nearly in tears by the time she was done.

"Yeah, that's rough, but, sweetheart, you have to give both therapy's a chance. These problems didn't happen overnight." He paused. "Well…your injury did, but any type of wound, whether it's physical or emotional is going to take time to heal."

"Yeah, I know. It just feels as if everything is happening in slow motion and I'm running out of time." She replied as she began rooting through the mail she'd been avoiding for the last two days.

"It's not and you're not. So stop thinking that way, okay?"

Gen sighed even as her brow knit at an envelope addressed to her from headquarters. No way was there good news inside. "Yeah, okay. I'll try. So I'm sure you had a reason when you called. Sorry to side track you."

"It's no problem. I just wanted to let you know that the judge finally reviewed your father's will and dismissed the case your father's family filed against you."

Gen let the mail slide away from her onto the seat of the couch. "Really?"

"Yes, really," Uncle Andy replied. "He reviewed the will, the previous will I submitted, spoke with your father's peers and friends, reviewed the case history and decided their claims had no basis. The estate is yours, sweetheart. All of it."

Relief washed through her. At least something was going right in her life. "Thank God." She sat for a moment in silence as she considered the situation. "You've done so much for me already, I feel bad asking this, but can you do me another favor?"

"Sure, what?"

"Can you reach out to dad's family?"

"Why?" Uncle Andy asked.

"Because despite how they treated me I want to do the right thing here. See if you can find out what exactly they want from his estate? Was it just so I couldn't have it, or did they all want something specific of his?"

"Okay, but what good will that do?"

"Well if they were just being evil and trying to leave me with nothing, they can all go to hell, but..." She paused and stared at the picture of her and her father on the day she graduated the academy. He would definitely want her to try and do the right thing. "If they're wanting something specific, some mementoes or pictures, I want to try and give them what they're asking for. After all, he was their brother long before he was my father. They should have something to remember him by."

"That's very good of you, Gen. Your father would be proud."

For the first time in several days she smiled a real smile. "I hope so."

"Don't worry about anything down here, sweetheart. I'll take care of everything. You just get yourself better, okay?"

Despite knowing he couldn't see her, Gen nodded. "I will and, Uncle Andy…thank you so much for all your help. I wouldn't have been able to get through all this without you."

"I'm happy to help my favorite niece," he replied. "You take care and I'll be in touch, okay?"

"Okay. Bye." She hung up and for a moment sat still as she soaked in the news. Finally…FINALLY…something was going right in her life. Her attention then traveled back to the stack of mail and in particular the envelope from headquarters. _Probably not for long though._

With shaky hands she reached for it and carefully tore it open.

 _Dear Ms. Conti,_

 _In recognition of your recent rescue of a fellow firefighter, which went above and beyond the call of duty, the LA County Fire Department will be honoring you at our annual Honors and Awards Banquet. This banquet exists to recognize both those who have provided a lifetime of service to the department and those who on occasion go above and beyond the call of duty._

 _As one of this year's honorees you and your entire shift are invited to attend the banquet to be held from 7pm to 11pm on Saturday, July 17_ _th_ _of this year. Further details regarding the banquet will be provided shortly. Please note dress attire for this function is black tie._

 _All of us at the LA County Fire Department want to thank you for your outstanding service and dedication and we look forward to seeing you there._

 _Cordially,_

 _Chief Houts_

For a solid ten minutes Gen stared at the letter as she read and re-read its contents. She was being honored? That fact alone was enough to throw her for a loop, but the words black tie event had her reeling. In order to go to this banquet she would have to wear a dress and heels. _Holy crap!_ Gen turned back to the phone, picked it up and began to dial. She was definitely going to need help.


	6. Chapter 6

"So how was your days off?" Roy asked as he stood in front of his locker and began dressing for work.

"They were fine," Johnny replied while he stripped off his button up and exchanged it for his work shirt. It would have been better if he'd spent them with Gen instead of Christie, but he couldn't very well take back what he said. Besides, it was Gen's fault he was tangled up with Christie in the first place. Though he did have to admit, the woman wasn't nearly as bad as he originally thought. Still, she wasn't Genevieve and he wasn't interested.

"Just fine?" Chet asked. "How can a day off spent with Gen be just _fine_?"

"I wasn't with Gen," Johnny corrected. Damn he hated having to admit that fact, again. He'd said those same words when they met for their last shift. Worse, he still hated himself for doing what he'd done. Knowing her fragile mental state he shouldn't have drawn such a definitive line in the sand. She'd said on more than one occasion how she didn't know what she'd do without him, then he'd gone an practically dumped her over what? He didn't think she'd do anything stupid, but then he hadn't intended on making the situation so black and white either.

The moment the words left his mouth he felt the tension in the room grow and he knew he'd finally have to explain. It wasn't as if he really wanted to share the details of his fight with Gen, but they'd find out sooner or later anyway. He half expected them to already know, but at least this way they'd hear it from him and not some third party.

"Why not?" Roy pressed. "You're always with Gen when you're not on duty."

"Well I wasn't yesterday, okay?" John shot back. _Come on and just tell them and get it over with already!_

"Wow, a bit touchy aren't we?" Chet teased. "Your attitude wouldn't have anything to do with our favorite female paramedic spending time with 51's B shift playboy would it?"

Johnny paused as Chet's riddle pinged around inside his brain. "What are you talking about?"

Chet glanced from Johnny to Roy, then onto Marco before returning to Johnny. "Since rumor has it you've been avoiding her for the last week, I guess you haven't heard?"

"Heard what?"

"That Gen has been spending time with Dwyer."

"What?" John turned and leaned his butt against the open locker base. No way could Chet's information be correct. "How do you know that?"

Chet shrugged. "I went camping on our days off and Dwyer lent me some of his camping equipment. She just happened to be there when I stopped by to pick up the gear."

"Gen was with Dwyer?" Roy asked.

Chet nodded.

"You actually saw her in Dwyer's apartment?" Johnny couldn't believe his ears. What in the hell was Gen doing with Dwyer?

Chet nodded again. "She answered the door when I knocked. Apparently, they were watching a ball game and having pizza as they iced down after physical therapy."

"Oh," Roy began. "They must have physical therapy together or at least at the same time."

Marco nodded. "You know that old saying that misery loves company. They have something in common so they're probably just supporting each other."

"Sure. I wouldn't worry too much about it," Chet replied in that tone that made Johnny's skin prickle with annoyance.

"Yeah," Johnny mumbled and frowned down at the floor. "Not worry. What's to worry about?"

Roy cocked his head to the side and stared at Johnny. "Okay, something's up. You've been miserable the last two shifts. You've been avoiding Genevieve and now Gen is spending time with Dwyer? Johnny, what's going on?"

"Oh not much," Johnny replied as he eased onto the bench. "Except I may have driven Genevieve right into the arms of another man."

Roy narrowed his gaze, making John feel as if he were a bug under a microscope. "What did you do?"

Knowing he had no choice but to explain, Johnny took a deep breath. "Okay, so it all started because during Christie's interview Gen lied. When Christie asked her about us dating, Gen told her we were just friends."

"Ouch," Chet hisses. "We all know you've moved beyond the 'just friends' stage."

John didn't know whether to be embarrassed or angry over the sympathy he seemed to be receiving from Chet. "Yeah, well, I thought so too, but apparently Gen had other ideas."

"And," Mike prompted as he and Cap moved in to listen.

"And, it put me in a bad position because Christie asked me out."

"What?" the guys nearly shouted in unison.

Johnny felt the nausea begin in the pit of his stomach as the rest of the crew digested his words. Having to retell the story was nearly as bad as living through it. "I know," he sighed and sank down to sit on the bench. "I was shocked too, but Christie said Gen told her to ask me out. Turns out she was trying to protect whatever chance she might have had to come back to work here and basically turn me into the sacrificial lamb in order to protect whatever might be left of her career."

"You sound a little bitter," Cap observed.

"Honestly, cap. I am. I was pretty hurt by what she did. I mean not only putting me on the spot with Christie, but putting me second to a career that is already in question hurt."

"I'm guessing to you told her as much too," Roy said.

"Yeah," Johnny replied as he stared at the floor. He felt guilty as hell for making that decision and was absolutely miserable because of it. At the time he thought it was the right thing to do. But now? After hearing she may have turned to Dwyer for support, he found himself questioning everything he'd said and done. "God, I didn't want to, but just when I think we're making progress she pulls back." Still, the idea of her with Dwyer made him sick to his stomach. "I can't be in a relationship that's all one sided."

"Just out of curiosity, what did you say to Christie," Chet asked.

"What could I say?" Johnny replied. "I told her yes."

"So you're dating Christie now?" Marco asked.

Johnny shrugged. "For the moment, but believe me, the first opportunity that arises I'm breaking it off. I mean the girl is actually pretty ok as a person, but she's not my type."

"Where does that leave you and Gen?" Cap asked.

Johnny sighed. "I really don't know, Cap. I told her she needed to get her head on straight and make a decision about what she really wants. Since it's been a week and I haven't heard from her I guess she did."

Cap frowned. "So let me get this straight. You love her, but you won't be with her because she's trying to come back to work and she doesn't want to jeopardize that opportunity by outing your relationship."

John winced at Cap's words. When he said it like that it made John sound like a jerk. "She lied, Cap. She put a career that might not even exist above me. Plus, you all know already, so it's not as if our relationship was completely a secret anyway."

Cap nodded. "True and I'll admit lying to Christie was wrong, but is it worth making you both miserable over?"

John eyed cap. "I thought you said Gen moved back to her apartment, so how do you know Gen is miserable?

Cap gave John that fatherly look he got sometimes when he was worried about them. "I know my crew, John and I know if you're miserable then Gen is too."

Roy nodded. "That's true. The only time you two are truly happy is when you're together."

"So what do I do now?" John asked. "I pretty much drew the line in the sand and Gen decided not to cross it."

"Well…" Cap gently smacked the side of the locker. "I really don't know, but I can tell you this. You need to figure something out because even if she can't come back to work, you're going to have to face her at least one more time."

Johnny felt his brow knit. "How so?"

A slow smile slid across Captain Stanley's face. "I received notification that Genevieve will be one of the honorees at this year's Honors and Awards Banquet."

"Really?" Marco asked as Chet replied with a "No way!" which nearly drowned out Mike's "That's awesome."

Johnny stared blankly at Cap as his works sank in. "She's receiving an award?"

Cap nodded. "They're recognizing her for achievement above and beyond the call of duty."

"For her rescue of Johnny when he fell?" Roy asked.

Cap nodded again. "That's right and that means this shift will also be attending the banquet. I have details for all of you in my office." He leveled a look at Johnny. "So you have about six weeks to get your own head on straight before you have to see her again."

* * *

Gen stood outside the dress shop waiting for Emily and Alyssa to arrive. She wrung her hands as she stared at the gowns the mannequins in the window wore. The last time she'd worn a dress was her senior prom. She barely had a girly bone in her body. So how in the world was she going to pull off wearing a dress now?

Emily walked up with a smile on her face. "You look as if we're about to send you to the electric chair."

Gen returned her smile. "I kinda feel that way. It's pretty damn frightening to know you have to wear a dress and try to make yourself all girly when you've never really done it before."

Emily reached out and unclasped Gen's hands, taking them in her own. "Relax. It's just a dinner."

"Yes, but it's a dinner that Johnny will be attending," Gen replied. "Possibly with Christie." Her attention shifted to the grown as shame coursed through her. "I already feel horrible about how things ended between us." She shook her head, still not quite believe a month had already passed since they last spoke. "I don't want to feel inadequate too."

"Hey," Emily replied. "Genevieve, look at me."

Knowing she needed to suck up her emotions, Gen sighed and lifted her gaze to find Emily still smiling.

"I have it on good authority that John broke up with Christie this past weekend."

In an instant hope bloomed in her chest and Gen couldn't stop the smile that fought its way out. "Really?"

"Yes, really," a voice came from behind her.

Gen turned to find Alyssa also smiling.

"You know this for sure?"

Alyssa nodded. "Mike confirmed it to me after their last shift. He says Johnny is downright miserable. He wants you back, but he thinks you've made your decision and chosen work over him."

How in the world someone could be happy and sad at the same time, Gen wondered as she took a moment to analyze her feelings. While she was thrilled to hear he'd killed things off with Christie, it broke her heart just a little to know she was still hurting him. Gen shifted her attention from Alyssa back to the mannequins in the window. Was it possible this banquet could be the door that opened up a possible reconciliation between them? The idea immediately took root and suddenly, she had nerves for an entirely different reason.

An hour and eight dresses later, Gen stepped from the dressing room and turned in a full circle in front of Emily and Alyssa. "It fits well, but I think the print is a bit busy."

Emily appeared to analyze the dress. "Definitely a no."

Alyssa nodded in agreement. "I also say no."

Gen sighed heavily. "I didn't realize finding the perfect dress would be so hard." She glanced back at the dressing room and the frilly blue dress she'd tried on earlier. "I really wanted to wow Johnny, but maybe I just don't have that ability in me. Maybe I should just buy the blue one and be done with it."

"No." Emily replied on the heels of Alyssa's "Absolutely not."

Gen let her arms drop to her sides as she studied the dress. "Well what am I going to do then? I'm really not a dress girl, so I can't tell what's good and what's not."

A wry smile appeared on Alyssa's lips. "I have it."

"What?" Gen and Emily said in unison.

"You need something simple, sexy and elegant, right?" Alyssa asked as she pushed up from the bench.

"Yeah?" Gen cocked her head to the side. "What are you thinking?"

"You can't go wrong with a little black dress." Alyssa backed out of the dressing area. "I saw a couple of dresses that fit that bill. Don't move. I'll be right back."

Gen turned her attention back to the mirror. A little black dress? Could she pull off such a sexy look and even if she could, would it be enough to win Johnny back?


	7. Chapter 7

Three days later Gen pulled the Cosmopolitan magazine from her bag and flipped it open to the dog eared page as she waited for the court room doors to open. Dealing with the whole awards issue and trying to find a dress, she'd nearly forgot about the upcoming trial. Though she had to admit until the actual first day of the trial she'd been on the fence about coming. In the end the need to see her father's killers put away spurred her decision. She'd cancelled both therapy sessions, packed her journal, girly magazines and all the essentials she'd need for a week's stay and made the drive to San Diego.

Unable to bring herself to stay alone in her father's now empty home she instead took up residence in her surrogate Aunt and Uncles guest room. Now nerves danced inside her as she waited for the doors to open on the last day of the trial.

She'd almost broken down and called Johnny to see if he'd come with her, but at the last minute decided against it. This was no different than talking with Doctor Kirkland, going to physical therapy or writing in her journal. It was part of her healing process and something she needed to do on her own.

Trying to concentrate, Gen tried to read an article on the latest summer hair and make-up trends. Determined to at least try and be more feminine, she'd taken Alyssa's advice and turned to women's magazines for instruction. To say she found them tedious and boring would have been an understatement, but she was determined to prevail.

She'd re-read the same paragraph three times before giving up on a sigh and exchanging the magazine for her journal. After now journaling for nearly six weeks, much to her surprise, she found Doctor Kirkland was actually right about writing down her feelings. While there were times like now, when she didn't much feel like writing, she did frequently go back and read what she'd written. Damn if she wasn't surprise by what she'd learned.

Her reasons for joining the fire department probably surprised her most of all. Yes, she'd done it to make her father proud and as a way to thank and honor him for everything he'd done for her. Yet, as she dug deeper and really thought about it, she came to realize a deep seated almost sinister need existed inside her. It was a need for revenge, a need to kill the beast that took her birth parents lives and left her traumatized.

For years she'd heard Tony spin tales about fighting fires. How his crew would sneak in from behind and cut off the fire's escape route, then go in for the kill and cut off the beasts head. As she grew she began to envision the beast living within the flames. That, she was slowly coming to realize, was the reason she'd been fighting so hard to protect her career. The need to kill the beast is what drove her to get better, to return to work. Not, the need to make her father proud or continue is legacy.

Hell, on his death bed he'd made her promise him she wouldn't allow the fire department to consume her. He hadn't wanted her to miss out on living life. Maybe he knew her real reasons for joining. Maybe he didn't. Either way, she knew, she'd made him proud and long since fulfilled her need to repay him for the life he'd given her.

As she reread her latest passage her brow knit. Strange how one emotion can take over and practically erase another. Before she'd fallen in love with Johnny her life had been about the job, about saving people from the grim reaper. While she still felt that same need to help people, it was no longer tainted with anger and revenge.

When it came to facing the reality of her injuries and her questionable future with the department, fear still hung heavy over her, like a dark cloud fat with moisture. Only that fear had more to do with her own insecurities, not with desire to avenge her parents. Was she capable of doing anything other than being a paramedic and a fireman? Could she be as good at another position within the department as she was at her job now? And where did that leave her when it came to fulfilling her desire to help others?

"Ms. Conti?"

The deep baritone of the prosecuting attorney pulled her from her thoughts. She looked up to find him and his associate staring down at her. "I'm sorry, Mr. Reynolds. I guess I was in deep thought."

He smiled down at her. "I guess you were. I'm sorry to interrupt, but there have been some developments in the case we wanted to discuss with you."

Gen closed her journal, shoved it in her bag and stood. "What kind of development?"

He motioned to a door across the hall, away from the courtroom. "We can talk in here."

Gen walked through the door his associate held and eased into the first available seat. "Mr. Reynolds, what is going on?"

He took the seat directly across from her. "The defendant's attorney approached us this morning asking for a plea deal."

Gen's skin prickled at the words. She was beginning to understand all too well that the words plea deal meant more than likely justice would not be served to its fullest capacity. "Based on the fact that you're talking to me now, I can assume you intend to accept whatever they're offering?"

Mr. Reynolds nodded. "Now before you get upset in thinking that they're getting off, I want you to know that's not the case."

"Ok. Please explain," Gen replied.

"From the moment the two defendants were arrested they maintained that they didn't think the Diaz family were home at the time of the firebombing and that they never meant to kill anyone."

"Sure they're going to say that," Gen replied at the absurdity of the statement. "They don't want to go away for murder."

"True," Mr. Reynolds replied. "However, we have no way of proving if what they're saying is true. Now add into the fact that they were willing to plead guilty to the arson charges, there is no guarantee the jury would find them guilty for attempted murder."

Gen knit her brow. "So what does this all mean?"

"It boils down to this. They are willing to plead guilty to the arson charges and to murder in the second degree for the death of your father. In return we drop the three counts of attempted murder."

Gen frowned. "So how long will they serve by taking this plea?"

"Twenty five years for the murder charge and another five for the arson, no parole. They must serve the entire sentence."

Gen cocked her head to the side and considered. If they were both in their early twenties now, then they'd be in their early fifties when released. "What would they have received if the jury found them guilty of all the charges?"

Mr. Reynolds exchanged a look with his associate. "Basically, life."

"So thirty years versus life," Gen replied, not bothering to hide her sour tone.

"Now I know is sounds as if they're getting off," Mr. Reynolds replied. "But I assure you that's not the case, Genevieve." They will both be in their fifties when they're released. Most of their lives will be over at that point."

Gen nodded. "You're right. I'm not thrilled about it, but you're right." She leaned back in her chair as she thought about her journal, Johnny and her life moving forward. Yes, she would live it without her father, but she'd still be living her life. The men who committed this horrible crime would be sitting in the same jail cell, day in and day out, staring at the same walls, not able to leave. Whether they served thirty years or one hundred, would it really matter to her? Would it really matter to the Diaz family? These men would be locked away, so they couldn't bring harm to others. Wasn't that what was most important?

She raked a hand through her loose curls. "So what happens now?"

"The jury is being released. The judge will approve the plea and sentence the men. I spoke with the judge and if you want to make your victim impact statement you still can."

Gen shook her head as she pushed to her feet. "No. I don't think so. Nothing I can say will change the blackness that lives in their hearts. The best thing I can do at this point is just go home and live my life to the best of my abilities."

Mr. Reynolds pushed away from the table and stood. "That's an amazing attitude Ms. Conti. Most people would demand more or want some sort of revenge."

Gen smiled now as she scooped up her bag. "The best revenge I can get is to not let this get me down any more than it already has. I'll admit I'm not thrilled with the terms, but I accept them because I need to gain some closure and move on with my life. I have too many other obstacles to face, too many other situations that need my attention." She walked toward the door, stopped and turned to face Mr. Reynolds. "I won't have a future if I keep living in the past Mr. Reynolds. Knowing that they'll have no choice but to do exactly that for the next thirty years gives me some comfort." She reached out and shook his hand. "Thank you for doing what you could to get justice for my father and the Dias family. I really appreciate all your hard work."

"You're very welcome Ms. Conti." He shook her hand. "I just hope if we ever get the chance to meet again in the future it will be under better circumstances."

"Me too, Mr. Reynolds. Me too."

For a while Gen simply drove around the city as her mind processed the events of the last six months. Her father's death. Johnny's accident. The challenge to her father's will. Her own brush with death. Christie. Therapy. Her break up with Johnny. At that thought she pulled her car into the drive of her father's house, put it park, leaned forward to rest her head against the steering wheel as her mind spun from one event to the next.

For over an hour she simply sat in her car, staring at her former home and thinking.

She'd been afraid when Tony and Olivia brought her home. Understanding only a little bit of English and speaking even less, she hadn't quite grasped exactly what was happening. They'd called her Genevieve and gave her a pretty pink bedroom with flowery curtains and a patchwork quilt on her white framed bed. They'd showered her with toys and clothes, held her when she'd cried for her parents and guided her through the heartache no child should ever have to suffer. They'd done everything they could for her, loved her unconditionally.

Yet there was no way they could have understood how much that single horrific night altered her. For twenty years she'd lived with the anger and the pain of a loss so great it had been nearly incomprehensible to a five year old's mind. For twenty years she'd also lived with the shame and guilt of carrying those feelings, of not being everything and more for her adopted parents. Loving them had never been a problem, but feeling as if she belonged, as if she were truly their daughter… Tears flooded her eyes as for the first time in her life she finally understood just how badly she'd been damaged by that single event. Her adopted parents had always accepted her, always loved her for who she was. The inadequacies she felt were entirely of her own making. Nothing more than fabrications created in the mind of a child burdened with grief and struggling to find her way in a world foreign to her.

She'd fought to be everything her father had desired, everything she thought she'd wanted for herself, thought she'd owed both her families. Her need to avenge their deaths, to honor their memories and to make them proud spurred her decisions. Yet deep in her heart she struggled to find happiness. To this point nearly every decision she made hadn't truly been for herself, but for the benefit of others.

 _Except for Johnny._ The moment she'd allowed him to kiss her back in the hospital bathroom. The moment she'd confessed her true feelings for him, she'd realized a kind of happiness she hadn't know existed. Then she'd gone and thrown it all away, for what?

She leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes. It was time to let go of the past. Time to take to heart what she'd said to Mr. Reynolds just a few short hours ago. She needed to free herself from the anger and pain and start living for herself. She opened her eyes, turned her head and stared at the house. It saddened her to know that this part of her life was truly over, but in a strange way she felt lighter and more optimistic. Her future was hers to make what she wanted out of it and from this point forward she would do what would make her happy. That started with figuring out a way to get Johnny back.


	8. Chapter 8

For three weeks, Gen stared at the slender, long black dress that hung in her closet. It was the only dress that hung in her closet. Several times since the purchase she'd considered returning it and trying to find something else, or even falling back on her dress uniform.

Only every time she had the dress in hand, ready to walk out the door, something made her stop. As much as she feared the idea of stretching beyond her comfort zone, deep down, she wanted this. Maybe it was her need to prove to herself she could be both a woman and a professional. A smoke eater one day and a model the next?

She smirked at that thought. As if she were actually pretty enough to be a model. One of the perks of being a female fireman was that she wasn't expected to beautify herself like women did in so many other jobs. So she could be herself without needing to worry about putting on a fake persona. Because she was also friends with her co-workers she never felt the pressure to be all girly around them. She'd been content to just allow things to continue status quo. Considering how she never felt as if she were all that pretty or attractive, it was probably for the best. Still, somewhere deep inside her lived a need. A need to prove to herself that she could do this. That even if she didn't always want to, she could be as beautiful and elegant as the next girl.

Now the day of the banquet had finally arrived and she was nervous as hell. She'd been saving for weeks for her trip to the spa. Other than the occasional haircut, she'd never stepped foot inside a spa, let alone had a manicure or a facial. The dress and the spa day were both a bit more than she should have spent, but how many times in her life would she receive an award like this?

Later that afternoon Gen eased the second strap of the dress over her shoulder and stared at herself in the mirror. Who in the hell was that woman?

"You're beautiful, Gen, so look like the world is about to come to an end?

Gen turned to see Alyssa standing in the doorway, dressed in a beautiful silver gown that glittered from head to toe.

"Oh I don't know," Gen replied as she turned back to the mirror. "Maybe because it feels that way."

"Would you please relax?

"I can't," Gen replied.

"Why not?" Alyssa asked. "

"Maybe because not only am I'm going to be facing a room full of my colleagues, but I'm doing it while wearing a dress?" She still couldn't quite believe she was the same person staring back at her in the mirror.

"I think it has more to do with you having to face Johnny wearing a dress," Alyssa corrected. "You said this was what you wanted, so you need to relax."

Gen smirked at her statement. "Relax, she says," she mumbled. "For the first time in my life I spent the day getting my hair and nails professionally done, having a facial and allowing a professional do my makeup. Now I'm standing here in four inch heels, hoping I won't stumble and make a fool of myself, or worse yet, break something and I'm sorry, but this dress reveals way too much for my taste.'

Alyssa scoffed. "This dress goes all the way to the floor."

"And it has a big slit all the way up the side," Gen countered.

"The slit is subtle," Alyssa argued. "The way this dress flows, it gives it a Grecian feel. It covers plenty, but the slit provides just a bit of sexy."

"What about the tight bodice and spaghetti straps?" Gen asked. "Not only do I feel as if the _girls_ are going to fall out, but you can totally see the scar on my shoulder."

The tight bodice helps to show off the girls," Alyssa replied. "And the scar is a badge of honor, Gen. You should not be ashamed of it. Besides-" She reached out and began arranging Gen's hair. "Your gorgeous hair is so long nobody will ever see the scar."

"You think?" Gen glanced from Alyssa back to the mirror and sighed. "Honestly, I'm not sure I've ever been more uncomfortable in my life."

"You're gorgeous," Alyssa affirmed. She held up a finger. "Just wait here a second." She walked to the door. "Michael, sweetheart, can you come here a second?"

A few moments later, dressed in his tux, Mike appeared. He stopped in his tracks, his eyes going wide. "Genevieve? Wow, is that really you?"

"I think so," Gen replied. "I'm pretty sure I'm in here somewhere."

"Holy cow! You're…you're gorgeous. Johnny's going to fall out of his chair when he gets a look at you."

Instantly, Gen's mood brightened just a bit. "You really think so?"

Mike nodded. "I know so. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me a bit, if you didn't get hit on a few times during the course of the night."

Gen turned back to the mirror and studied her reflection. Over the last few months she'd let her hair grow and now her long, deep auburn curls hung in perfect ringlets over her shoulders, stopping about midway down her back. Highlighted by gold and bronze eye shadow, her green eyes seemed so vivid.

"Definitely," Mike replied. "I can't wait to see Johnny's face when he gets a load of you.

Gen swiped the clear gloss over her lips, then took a small step forward, opening the slit on the skirt just a little, revealing the four inch black lace peep toe heels Alyssa insisted she buy. She had to admit that despite feeling more than a little out of her element, she had achieved what she'd set out to do. She'd managed to transform herself into a real woman.

Alyssa clapped her hands together. "I'd say we're about ready."

Gen took a deep, centering breath, then reached for her clutch. "Okay, I'm ready."

Twenty minutes later, with Mike's help, she stepped from the back seat of his car, smoothed out her dress and turned to see Cap and Emily walking toward them. "Oh My God," Cap said as he approached. Emily clapped her hands together in glee. "You're absolutely stunning."

Grateful for the added support, Gen smiled. "Thank you."

Cap leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. "You really are beautiful, Gen and I'm so happy for you. You completely deserve this award."

"Thank you, Cap." She reached up and straightened his tie. "You're looking pretty handsome yourself."

Much to her surprise, Cap actually blushed as he straightened and took a step back. Just in time for Chet and Marco to appear. Marco stopped in his tracks even as Chet let out a low whistle. "Wow, Gen, you look amazing."

"I always knew you had sexy streak in you somewhere, Conti," Chet said as he stepped up next to her. He held out his arm. "May I escort you inside?"

"Hey," Marco protested. "Maybe I want to escort her inside."

"How about you both escort me?" Gen said as she slid the wristlet for her tiny purse over her wrist.

Chet and Marco both grinned. With an arm looped through each of theirs, she slowly walked toward the entrance. Trying hard not to be obvious, she took a quick peek around. _Where was Johnny?_

Sitting next to Roy, Johnny slammed down his second vodka and cranberry as he waited for the rest of the crew to arrive. He'd hoped the alcohol would help settle his nerves just a little, yet after two drinks his stomach still twisted.

It still amazed him how he could be both exited and dreading the same event, yet here he was, happy to be there and nervous beyond comprehension.

"Hey there, pally. Don't you think you should slow down on the drinks?" Roy asked as he sipped as his own gin and tonic. "You're ready for number three and the event hasn't even started yet."

"I know, I know," Johnny replied as he pushed his empty glass away, then wiped his damp palms on his slacks.

"So what's the deal?"

"I'm nervous," Johnny said as he took yet another look around the room. After two long, miserable months he couldn't wait to set eyes on Genevieve. Yet at the same time he found himself wishing he could be anywhere else. Not that he wasn't happy to see Gen get an award she absolutely deserved, but to see her and to know she wasn't with him, possibly didn't want to be with him. The idea frightened him more than he could express.

"About what?" Roy asked.

Johnny arched a brow and received a knowing smile in response. Roy shook his head. "I said it before and I'll say it again. You and Gen really need to get over this fight you're having, because you're both driving us all crazy."

"How can it be a fight when we haven't spoken in two months?" Johnny countered. "I made a stupid decision in giving her an ultimatum and she didn't choose me. That's not a fight, it's an ending."

"An ending neither of you wanted," Joanne replied from where she sat.

"How do you know it is?" Roy countered.

"Let's get something straight. If Roy handed me an either/or type of ultimatum I can promise you I wouldn't take it well and would make a point not to choose him just out of spite."

"Even if you still loved him?"

Joanne nodded. "Even if I still loved Roy." She leveled a knowing look at him. "One of you needs to be the bigger person and apologize first. Since you laid the ground rules you may need to be the one to make the first move."

"And, it looks like you just might get your chance," Roy added.

Johnny shifted his gaze from Joanne to Roy, then followed his gaze toward the door. With Chet on one arm and Marco on the other Gen stepped into the room and Johnny swore his heart screeched to a full stop.


	9. Chapter 9

Gen tried not to be obvious as she glanced around the room in search of a clock. With dinner complete and everyone on desserts and coffee, surely they had to be just about done with the awards. So why hadn't he mentioned her yet? This waiting was rubbing her nerves raw.

"Ladies and Gentlemen another hand for Battalion Chief George Croft," Chief McConakee said as he returned to the podium.

Gen watched the veteran fireman return to his seat, his gate staggered as he slowly made his way back to his chair. The hitch in his gate a permanent reminder of his time on the job. If she managed to return to work that could be her someday.

"Okay, we have one more award before we turn all you people loose for some real fun." Chief turned his attention toward Gen. "Now I won't say we saved the best for last, as you are all spectacular people, but I will say we definitely saved the best looking for last."

The Chief's compliment had heat sliding into Gen's neck as every person at the dinner turned to look in her direction. Man, sometimes she really hated being the center of attention.

"A pioneer for women, her accomplishments with the LA County Fire Department has forged a path for others who desire to following in her footsteps. While her presence had certainly enhanced the department is has also forced us to look in the mirror, face some ugly truths and become better men and women for it.

As if that wasn't enough, recently she suffered what may still end up being a career ending injury during a life and death rescue of her fellow crew member. Because of her selfless act, in addition to all she has already accomplished within this department I am humbled to be able to present the award for achievements above and beyond the call of duty to this year's recipient, from station 51, Fireman/Paramedic Genevieve Conti."

The room broke out in cheers as carefully, Gen pushed away from the table, stood, and walk to the podium. She shook Chief McConakee's hand, accepted her paper and plaque then turned to face the room full of her peers. Her heart pounded so hard inside her chest she swore it might just pound right through her rib cage. For weeks she thought about what she was going to say. She'd even rehearsed her speech, but now that she was here, with everyone facing her, everything she'd planned to say escaped her.

"Um…" she swallowed hard as she struggled to make her mind work. Slowly, she scanned the faces, some familiar, some not, until her gaze eventually landing on her friends and on Johnny. Suddenly she seemed to find her voice. "While I'm honored to have been chosen for this award and extremely thankful for all the changes that have taken place over the last few years, I don't know that I deserve this. I firmly believe that had any one of you been in my place you would have done the same thing for your co-worker; for your friend."

For a moment she met Johnny's gaze and her heart ached as everything she wanted to say to him clamored to be released. Now was not the time nor the place for such a conversation. Instead, she smiled. "The only reward I ever wanted I already have and that's having my best friend alive and well and sitting right over there." After a moment she forced herself to look away and move her gaze across the room. "Facing the reality that my career may be over isn't easy, but when compared to losing my best friend forever, it's a small price to pay and one I would do again in a heartbeat. I would hope that if faced with the same situation it would be a decision all of you would also make."

Gen turned face the table where Chief Houts and Chief McConakee sat. "I want to thank you, not only for this honor, but for all of the support you've provided to me over the years. I am honored and proud to say that I am a Los Angeles County Fireman and I hope to be able to continue as a fireman for years to come."

With that, Gen turned and headed back to her table. Without even looking at him, she could feel Johnny's gaze on her. She eased into her seat between Captain Stanley and Mike. Throughout the entire evening she'd felt Johnny's gaze on her, yet he'd failed to say a single word to her. Now the band was kicking up and people were starting to move to the dance floor, mix and mingle. As the evening began to slip away she could see her hope of reconciling with Johnny also slipping away. If she left here without him….

"Genevieve," Chief Houts approached the table. "Do you mind if I join you for a moment?"

"No, sir," she said and motioned to the chair Mike recently vacated in order to take Alyssa to the dance floor. "Please have a seat."

"Thank you." He eased into the chair, then met Gen's gaze. "I'm thrilled to see you finally honored for everything you've achieved."

"Thank you, sir, but I didn't do any of this to receive an award."

He shook his head. "No, I'm sure you didn't, but I'm also sure you have to admit, after everything you've been through, it's nice to finally be recognized."

She smiled just a little as she slid a sideways glance across the table to find Johnny still seated and intently listening. "Yes, sir. I suppose it is."

"I also know it can't be easy to be facing an uncertain future and I'm sorry you're in this position."

"Thank you, sir." Gen met his gaze, then turned her full attention to Johnny and stared him in the eye. "But I'm not, because the alternative would be so much worse." She noted Johnny's slight nod of acknowledgement before turning her attention back to Chief Houts.

"Understood and I admire your attitude Gen. Which is the exact reason why I'd like for you to meet me and Chief Miller in my office on Monday morning."

Her heart skipped a beat. What in the world did Chief Houts want with her? "Um..." she stuttered. "Y-yes, sir. I'll be there. What time?"

"Let's say around ten?" He smiled as he pushed up from the chair. "And don't look so worried, Genevieve. I think you're going to enjoy our meeting." He patted her on the shoulder. "And enjoy the rest of the night. You've earned it."

"Thank you, sir." She watched him walk away and then turned to look back at her award. Weird how for the last few months everything in her life seemed to be going wrong. Now, suddenly, everything seemed to be going right. Everything except the one thing she wanted the most.

By the time event came to an end, Gen was feeling more than a little disheartened. While he hadn't been given a lot of opportunity to talk with her, he'd yet to say a single word. Now the night was over and everything she'd done preparing for this night, everything she planned seemed to be out the window.

Near the exit door she stood with Mike, Alyssa, Chet and Marco. "None of us are ready to call it a night," Alyssa said, motioning to the rest of them. "You want to come with us to this great club not too far from here?"

Feeling more than a little heartbroken how the night had ended, Gen shook her head. "No thanks. I'd rather just head home."

"But you came with us," Mike observed. "Do you want me to take you before we go to the club?"

"No, that's okay."

"If I don't take you, how are you going to get home?"

Gen shook her head. No way did she want to ruin her friend's night just because she didn't feel like celebrating. "No worries, Mike. You go on ahead to the club. I'll find a ride home."

"We can take you," Captain Stanley offered.

"Thank y-" Gen started to reply only to be cut off by a familiar voice.

"I'm taking her home."

Her skin prickled with awareness as she turned to see Johnny walking toward them. A look of determination claimed his features and caused her heart to skip a beat. He stopped next to her, his hand landed on her lower back. "I'm taking her home."


	10. Chapter 10

_Finally...the chapter everyone's been waiting for. It's kinda long, but I think you'll enjoy it. WARNING: Not appropriate to read around children or at work._

* * *

Gen sat in the passenger seat of Johnny's rover and clasped her hands together in her lap. After nearly two months of no communication the moment felt awkward and tense. Her nerves danced as she thought back on everything that happened to this point. All her bad decision, all her regret surfaced with ferocity.

"You're awful quiet," Johnny observed.

"Yeah." She shrugged. "I guess I am."

The awkward silence returned as she considered her options. Should she tell him about the therapy and the progress she'd made with Doctor Kirkland?

"Chet tells me you've been hanging out with Dwyer a lot lately."

She cringed. Damn Chet and his big mouth. She knew the day she opened the door at Dwyer's and found Chet standing on the other side he'd blab. "Maybe a little. He's been a pretty good friend to me lately."

When her statement met silence she continued. "Look, it all started because I ran into him at physical therapy and he invited me back to watch a Dodger's game."

"I remember when you used to watch Dodger games with me."

 _Ouch!_ She flinched at his statement. She remembered those days too…missed them. "Johnny, Bert and I are just friends."

"I know," he glanced as her as they stopped at a traffic light. "I don't like it."

"Nothing happened."

"I still don't like it."

What in the world was she supposed to say to that? If she were looking for a fight, she could throw his dating Christie back in his face, but the last thing she wanted to do was bring up bad memories. "I'm sorry, but you're the one who broke up with me. I was hurt and I needed a friend."

Eyes wide, he glanced at her then back to the road. "For the record I did not break up with you. You broke up with me."

 _What?_ "You gave me an ultimatum."

"And you chose your career," he snapped, his tone harsh enough to cause her to jerk back in response.

For a moment she stared at him then let her attention drop to the floor. Maybe it had appeared that way to him. "I didn't exactly choose my career and I'm sorry if it appeared that way." She turned to look out the window. If she had any hope in making things right with him, she needed to admit to her mistakes. "Our last conversation made it sound as if you were kicking me to the curb, so I didn't call. I'm sorry if I misunderstood."

The awkward silence returned and Gen struggled to blink back threatening tears. This wasn't at all how she'd wanted this night to go. "I started seeing a therapist," she offered, hoping to turn the conversation more positive.

The light turned green and John made a left. "What kind of therapist?"

"A shrink, as you call it," she replied.

"Oh yeah?" The curiosity laced in his tone had her sliding a sideways look at him. His expression appeared to match his tone. "When did that happen?"

She turned to look at him completely. "The day you broke up with me."

Her statement had him casting a quick glance at her, then back to the road. "Sweetheart, you broke up with me."

"You gave me the ultimatum," she replied. Hadn't they just covered this ground?

"True and maybe I was wrong for doing that," he apologized.

"Maybe you were," she replied. "I guess at this point it doesn't really matter much who was wrong. All I know is that I was heartbroken after I hung up with you, but also I knew everything that happened was my fault and the only chance I had at getting you back would be if I did what you said."

His brow knit as he stared out the windshield. "What did I say?"

"That I needed to get my head on straight."

"Oh, that."

"Yeah, that," she replied.

"So how's it been going?"

"Good actually," she shifted so her body faced him. "I've been seeing Doctor Kirkland once a week for two months. She's given me some tools to help me focus when my thoughts start spinning out of control."

"That's real good."

"Yeah, it is. I mean I'm far from being better, but at least I'm making progress." Gen nodded. "Though I did realize something before I ever stepped foot in her office."

"What's that?" Johnny pulled into the parking lot of her apartment building, eased his vehicle into an empty slot and put it in park.

"That the reality of not having you in my life is so worse than anything I could possibly face in my career." She met his gaze. "What I didn't realize until it was too late, was that as long as I had you, I could handle anything work threw at me, but without you…" She shook her head. "Everything else means nothing."

He turned off the engine, shifted on his hip to face her. For a moment silence fell between them before he finally spoke. "This has been the hardest two months of my life and I'm sorry I ever said those horrible words to you."

Tears pricked at her eyes as sucked in a quick breath. "I miss you, Johnny."

Slowly, he leaned toward her, slid a hand behind her head. Eyes wide, she mimicked his movement, meeting him half way. With their lips mere millimeters apart he paused and appeared to study her. "I've missed you too," he whispered, then brushed his lips over hers.

In an instant the tension she carried flowed out of her and she relaxed against his touch. He brushed his lips against hers a second time, the licked a trail along the seam, asking permission for more. She parted her lips, granting him the permission he sought. Immediately, he took the kiss deeper. She was sure if they'd been standing her knees would have buckled. God the man could kiss.

When he finally pulled back, Gen opened her eyes and gave him a small smile. "I missed that too," she whispered.

He gave her one of his infamous grins. "Me too."

She glanced toward the front of her building, then back. This was it. This was decision that would change her life forever. "Come inside with me?" she asked without hesitation.

He mimicked her movement, turning to look at the building, then back to her, then his expression slowly turned serious. "For a night cap?"

She shook her head. "For the night."

His brow winged up in surprise. "Are you sure?"

"I've never been more sure about anything in my life," she replied.

After a moment he nodded, removed the keys from the ignition and opened the door. Quickly, he made his way around to the passenger side, opened the door for her and helped her out. Heat flared between them as he pulled her against him and Gen could feel her heart speed up.

He stared down at her, love and apprehension radiating from him. "Before we go any farther I need for you to understand something."

"What's that?"

"There's no going back from here, Genevieve. If we do this, it changes everything and we can never go back to how things were."

She placed a hand on his chest, felt his heart pounding beneath her palm and took some solace in the fact that he was as nervous as she. "I don't want to go back. There's nothing for me in the past but pain and heartache. You're my future, Johnny and I want to show you just how important you are to me."

Her admission earned her another smile. "Then what are we waiting for?"

The walk across the parking lot, while in reality was extremely short, felt as if it took forever. By the time they made it inside the building her hands shook with nerves. Key in hand, she struggled to get it into the lock. After a moment Johnny's hand covered hers, steadying her. She glanced up at him, noted the reassuring, yet heated look in his eyes. With his guidance she slid the key into the lock.

Her nerves danced as she stepped into the apartment and flipped on the light. She wanted this, wanted him more than she could begin to express. Yet she couldn't bring herself to make the first move. She dropped her clutch on the end table next to the couch. "Um…do you want a drink?"

Heat infused her back a moment before she felt Johnny's lips against her neck. "No drink. No food. I just want you," he whispered as he nibbled along her ear. She leaned back against him and closed her eyes. "I've waited three and a half long years for this moment, sweetheart. I don't want to wait another second."

A shiver rippled through her. Could she even begin to express how much she truly missed him? She felt the pull on her dress a moment before the sound of a zipper moving filled the air. "Did I happen to mention how absolutely stunning you are tonight?"

"No," she practically choked on the word.

"Well you were. God, honey, the moment you walked through the door with Chet and Marco…" the end of this sentence morphed into a low growl. _Holy crap, did Johnny really just growl._ The feral sound had her body heating with anticipation. This was really going to happen.

 _Yes!_ She wanted his hands on her, to feel his skin against hers. She wanted to drive him wild with what she wore beneath the dress. His hands glided over her shoulders, traveled down her arms, taking the dress with it until, completely slack, it fell to a pool around her feet. In that moment it occurred to her she was more than a little out of practice in this area. The last time she'd gone to bed with anyone had been well before she joined the fire department. She stiffened slightly as the pounding of her heart took on a new meaning. What if she sucked at this?

"Hey, relax." He whispered as he trailed soft kisses down her neck and along her shoulder.

"Sorry, but I'm a little nervous."

"Why?" he asked, almost conversationally. "You know me. You said yourself you want me. So what's the problem?"

"I'm a little out of practice," she replied and felt the heat of embarrassment rise into her cheeks. "I may have to rely on your experience to guide me."

He chuckled as he continued to nibble at the nape of her neck. "Well, my experience may not be quite as vast as you think, but somehow I think we'll manage."

Her brow winged up in surprise at his admission. So he hadn't slept with as many women as she thought? She took satisfaction in that knowledge. If nothing else it was less women for him to compare her against.

Slowly he worked his way across her shoulder, then took a moment to linger over her surgery scar, pressed his lips to it. "Right here," he murmured.

"What?" she asked, almost without thinking.

"Your love." He brushed his lips across it again. "The symbol of your love is represented right here in this pink line."

His words touched her heart, easing her anxiety just a little. If he only knew just how much she truly loved him.

Almost nonchalantly he worked his way around to face her. "I could get a tattoo with your name or something that symbolizes our love, but it wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't be as meaningful or pure and from the heart as that single pink line."

She lifted her gaze now, meeting his stare. Tears welled, blurring her vision. "I love you, John Gage."

For a brief second his cockeyed grin returned, then was gone nearly as fast. "I love you, Genevieve Conti. More than I think I'll ever be able to express." Her heart swelled with his admission. Then the love in his eyes took on a heated quality as his gaze slid over her and she noted his hard swallow. "Dear God, matching black lace and garters. Infinitely better than any of my dreams."

Now it was her turn to give him a wry grin. "If I remember correctly, you've already seen me naked."

"True," he replied. "And if I remember correctly, I told you I couldn't enjoy the view because you were injured."

She lifted a shaky hand to his cheek and was delighted when he turned is face toward her palm. "I'm not injured now."

"No, baby. You're not."

Watching him, she reached down and unhooked her bra. His dark eyes widen in awe as she shrugged out of the lace, let it fall off her shoulders. "No more barriers," she whispered and felt her skin heat when he reached for her.

"No more barriers," he replied, then took her mouth is a scorching kiss that lit her insides on fire. He pulled her against him, the polyester of his dress shirt abraded her sensitive skin. Suddenly, his hands were everywhere at once as he ravaged her. Her mind reeled even as her body submitted.

In her mind she'd pictured this moment as a sweet, tender exchange of love, so she certainly wasn't quite prepared for this mindless lust quickly spinning out of control. Yet, in a way, this was better, so much better than what she'd expected. The need burning inside her, so primal in its base, never existed before Johnny. Of course why should making love be any different than how they did anything else? They worked hard, fought hard, so why shouldn't they play hard too?

Dressed in only her heels, garters and panties, she clung to him, as his mouth ravaged hers, and his hands explored her body. "I want you so much, sweetheart." Johnny gasped through ragged breath.

"I'm yours. I've always been yours," she replied as she shoved at his shirt, pushing it up.

* * *

Without unbuttoning it, Johnny dragged it over his head and tossed it to the floor. The moment her fingers brushed along his waistband Johnny swore he might just go insane from the anticipation. Her scent was everywhere. That sweet aroma of cherry blossoms that hooked him damn near from day one. It still amazed him how she could be so delicate and fragile, so girly in some ways, yet so much like one of the guys in others. Right now, he was immensely enjoying the girly side.

Slowly, he moved with her toward the bedroom and found it just as he expected. Delicately covered in lacy textures and soft shades of cream and blues. As if the universe somehow knew and prepared for this night, the moon cast its luminescent glow through the lace covered window, the beams landing directly on the bed. He wanted to see her bathed in those gentle beams as she came calling his name.

By the time her legs hit the edge of the bed, she'd managed to get his trousers both unbuttoned and unzipped. Lord have mercy, what he wouldn't do to have those incredible hands all over him, but right now he needed to show her just how much she meant to him.

Slowly. Gently. He eased her back onto the bed, her red tresses spreading out over the comforter like a river of fire. He went down next to her, taking his time as he feasted first on the long line of her throat, then her delicate collar bone, then lower. She arched up as throaty moans tumbled from her. Holy hell, she was making it so difficult for him to maintain control. "Johnny please." Her plea pierced something deep inside him, and threatened to release the beast within.

He slid down, tucked his hands beneath her hips and gently lifted them. Her quick intake of breath had him looking up to find her watching him, desire claiming her features. Damn if that wasn't so freaking sexy. Watching her watch him, he leaned forward, pressed a kiss on her belly and felt her muscles quiver beneath his lips. Slowly, he curled his fingers around the lace and pulled them down her trembling legs.

Without a word he pressed a kiss to the inside of her knee, felt her shudder. Then another a little higher and felt her stiffen. She reacted so beautifully, so sensually. Taking his time he worked his way to the V between her legs. Above him she panted and arched, her muscles flexing with anticipation of his next movement. He nipped lightly at her upper thigh and was rewarded with a moan that went straight to his groin. If this continued, she most certainly would be the death of him.

With mouth and fingers he centered on her core, and reveled in sound of her moans turning into quick gasping, cries. Joy filled him when he found her slick and ready. He'd done that. The knowledge that he'd stirred such a need in her fed his ego. He brushed his palm over the heat and watched her rise up, her eyes going wide in shock. _More!_ He needed more from her. He shifted and in one smooth movement breeched her entrance, driving two fingers deep inside. She cried out. Her hands fisting the comforter. "Oh God, oh God!"

"That's it, Genevieve. Just let go," he urged as he worked her, pushing her higher and higher. "Give it to me," he nearly begged now. God she was so close. He had to see that glorious moment when she finally relinquished all control. She panted and writhed, gasped and moaned as he worked her hard. When she finally broke apart, his name tumbled from her lips on a sob. For the first time in his life he witnessed pure beauty and knew that once would never be enough. Hell a life time with her would never be enough to satisfy the hunger now raging inside him. Even as she came down, she reached for him. "I want—" she gasped.

"So do I," he replied as he shifted himself over her, then crushed his mouth to hers, swallowing her scream as he finally made them one. She arched up, her hands scrambling for purchase, her fingernails scraping along his back. For several long seconds he remained still, as he enjoyed the feel of being gloved inside her glorious heat, reveled in it. For this first time in his memory everything in his world seemed right, seemed perfect. Still, as he gloried in the moment his need grew. Before long he began to move and quickly established a rhythm, filling the room with the melodious sounds of sex.

Bathed in the moonlight, he watched her as she struggled against her impending orgasm. The way her body glistened in sweat from their lovemaking. The way she arched into him with every thrust. The way her expression changed as he continued to push her toward her next climax. In that moment she was raw and open to him, vulnerable in ways neither would have ever imagined. Still it wasn't enough as he pushed her, demanding more, demanding everything. He'd waited so long for this moment, dreamed of it. Need drove him as he forced higher still. Never in all his life had he experienced such a deep, raw, and powerful desire. Then she lifted a hand to his cheek, stared into his eyes. "Johnny." This time his name wasn't a cry to the heavens or even a plea, but a pledge born from love and spoke with wonder, as if she couldn't quite believe the moment was real.

The awe in her voice and love in her eyes, combined with the sheer beauty of the moment and damn near broke him. Lord help him, but he was about to give her the one thing he swore he'd never share. He'd already given her not just his heart, but his love, and as together they drove toward the mountain's summit, he knew in that glorious moment of release he'd give her his very soul. As they crested the peek and tumbled together into the swirling abyss, he knew from this moment on, there would never be another.


	11. Chapter 11

How in the world had he gotten so lucky? Johnny lay propped on his side watching Genevieve as she slept next to him. After they'd damn near devoured each other, they'd managed talk a little then do it all over again. Now, in the wee hours of the morning he couldn't sleep, but he didn't want to wake her. She looked so peaceful as she slept, as if all the worries she carried with her somehow disappeared with her dreams. Absently, he wondered if she still suffered from nightmares? So far she hadn't experienced any tonight. He'd take that as a good sign.

This, he realized, was how he wanted to wake up every morning, with her in his bed. He took a moment to observe the room, then considered the rest of her apartment. Tiny, run down, and not in the best of neighborhoods by his standards. She could do so much better. Somehow he needed to convince her to move out and move in with him. Only he was sure her stubborn streak would rear its ugly head and get in the way.

He smiled a little as he turned his attention back her. While he loved how tenacious she could be, at times he found himself wanting to turn her over his knee and give her the spanking she so richly deserved. His smile widened at that thought. Wouldn't that be a sight and a great battle? Fiery to the core her personality matched her hair and tempted him in ways he'd not thought possible. Add to that her sensitive, emotional side and he swore she had to be the most beautiful creature on the face of the earth.

From the first day she walked through the door at 51's he knew he was hooked. In those early days it had been the thrill of the chase that kept him coming back for more. Then, he'd grown to know her and his attitude changed. At some point she went from being just another conquest to a true friend.

His mind wandered back to that weekend she'd gone with him to the reservation. Her absolute awe and envy at his ability to be able to know and identify with his heritage intrigued him. Instead of making fun of his heritage and everything he cared about, she'd been genuinely interested and appreciated the history behind his tribe. He'd learned so much about her that weekend and that knowledge only intrigued him more.

Then the Barlow incident happened and he found himself in a strange position. In those unknown moments, first at the fire, then as he treated her and later at the hospital as they waited for news on her condition, he'd experienced a fear he unknown to him since parents death.

It was at that point he'd realized just how important she'd become to him. Still, even back then, admitting he loved her, or anyone for that matter, simply wasn't something he was capable of doing. Then as time passed and they grew closer, he knew deep down he'd never be happy with anyone else.

Sure he tried to date other women, but none of them compared to Gen. None of them had her qualities or looks. Knowing she only wanted to remain friends killed him inside, but it had been better than not having her in his life at all.

Still, watching from a distance as struggled to find herself and battle her demons had been hard. She'd put him through hell, first with dating Jason, then again when he'd nearly lost her during her surgery and more recently with their latest misunderstanding. The strange thing was, he'd discovered that admitting his love for her had become so much easier with each incident.

Seeing her last night at the banquet, decked out in that amazing dress and looking more incredible than he'd ever seen her in his life, he knew he had to do something to get her back. Thank God she'd felt the same way. Last night had been the single best night of his life, a dream come true and what he hoped was the beginning of something much bigger.

Only how did he breach the next subject without having her distance herself again? _It's too soon for that Johnny! Don't push her!_ He knew his conscious was right, but his heart wanted what it wanted. A big farmhouse and a dog, a big yard and a swing set with a giant slide that their kids could play on as he watched them with Gen by his side. _You're hopeless Gage!_

He smirked at that thought. The playboy in him had sworn never to get married and he'd never wanted kids, yet being with her caused new and strange feelings to surface and suddenly he found himself desiring everything he'd worked to avoid.

His brow knit at that thought. What if she didn't want the same thing? They'd never actually talked about the future beyond her career. Could he be happy if it was just the two of them in a tiny apartment for the rest of their lives? It was a conversation that needed broached and one he was suddenly concerned about having.

He lay back against the pillow and closed his eyes. Despite all the progress she'd made mentally, emotionally and physically, she still expressed her desire to return to the station. Was it possible that desire was based on her fear of change? The department had put her through hell since she joined and despite all the positive changes over the last few years, it was possible she still feared stepping back into that hell if she moved to another station or position.

She could easily switch to 51's B shift and never miss a beat. Dwyer would look out for her and the rest of the guys on the shift adored her. He felt the crease in his brow deepen. The last thing he wanted was her anywhere near Dwyer for any appreciable amount of time.

He knew he was being paranoid. After all, she'd already express her love of him. Still, he knew guys like Dwyer, had been one of them until she came along. Maybe it was best if she came back to 51's A shift with him. At least until he could put a ring on her finger.

John pursed his lips, rolled onto his side, wrapped an arm round Gen and pulled her back against him. She murmured, then snuggled deeper against him before settling down again. If she was going to come back to work at 51, then they'd really need to keep their relationship a secret. Not that Cap would rat her out or insist on transferring her. He couldn't see Cap being so heartless, but it would be unfair of them to put him in that position.

He'd only need about a year, maybe just six month while she continued to see her therapist and he worked on her about getting married. Recently Roy'd been toying with the idea of taking the Captains exam. Now that the department had made some rule changes about paramedics and promotions the possibilities had opened up. If he was going to provide for Gen and possibly a family, maybe it was time for him to consider that exam too.

After all, Cap was once again studying for the battalion chief's exam. Even Mike, Marco and Chet seemed to be a bit restless as of late, discussing the idea of transferring to other departments or taking the engineers exam. If her entire reason for returning was based on them, would she stay at 51's if they all moved on?

It was definitely worth playing the odds and seeing how this situation shook out. Even if she stayed at 51's and he moved up to Captain, they'd end up at different stations, which meant they could then be together in the open. He let out a contented sigh as he closed his eyes and finally began to feel sleep tug at him. Yes, right now he'd give her what she wanted. He'd do that for her not only because he loved her and wanted her happy, but because maybe, just maybe, in the end he would have what he wanted too.

* * *

"Genevieve?"

She shifted, winced, then burrowed deeper into the covers.

"Genevieve? Baby wake up."

She opened one eye, then the other and found herself staring into the most handsome face she'd ever seen. A slow grin spread across her lips as she remembered their encounter the night before. No wonder she was sore. "Hey, handsome."

He returned her smile as he crouched next to the bed. "Hey yourself. I need you fully awake for a moment."

"Why?" she mumbled as her eyes slowly drifted shut. "And why are you not in bed with me?"

"Because I have to go to work."

Now she did open her eyes, shifted to sit up and was immediately reminded why moving quickly was a bad idea. A grimace claimed her features as she hissed through her teeth. They'd spend the last twenty four hours making up for lost time and she certainly felt the result.

Johnny grinned. "A little sore this morning are we?"

"Sore but satisfied." She glanced at the clock and experienced a tweak of sadness. "You have to be at work in an hour."

"I know," he replied as turned and sat on the edge of the bed to put on his shoes. "Believe me, I'd love nothing more than to spend another day in bed with you, but I'm pretty sure we could both use a break. Besides, I have shift and you have that meeting with brass."

Her eyes widened at his reminder. "Oh yeah." Her stomach twisted at the idea of meeting with Chief Houts and Chief Miller. What could they possibly want with her?

Johnny leaned over, pulling her out of her thoughts. "Let me know how it goes, okay?"

She nodded as she reached up and stroked a hand through his hair. "I will."

He pressed a quick kiss to her lips. "Love you."

"Love you too," she replied as he stood and walked out of the room. She waited to hear the closing of the front door before she decided to move. Slow and easy she made her way to the bathroom to start her shower. Three and a half years of sexual tension had been unleased Saturday night and continued deep into Sunday. Today her body was feeling the result. Tired, sore and happy, she stepped into the shower and tried not to worry about her meeting. No matter what they said or how it turned out, she had Johnny and that was all that really mattered.

At exactly ten o'clock, Genevieve knocked on Chief Houts' door. Despite her earlier declaration to herself, nerves now danced along her skin.

"Come in," Chief Houts voice carried through the door.

Gen opened it and stepped inside. "Good morning, Chief."

He and Chief Miller turned to look at her. In an instant smiles slid across their faces.

"Ah, Genevieve. There you are. On time, just as I knew you would be."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, Sir."

He waved a hand at her motioning her further into the room. "You can stop with the sir, stuff and come sit down. Chief Miller and I want to discuss something with you."

"Yes, s- I mean okay." She moved into the room and eased into the empty chair.

"I was very pleased to see you receive your award Saturday night," Chief Houts said. "You've worked harder than most of the men in this department and you vry much deserved it."

"Thank you, Chief."

"Gen," Chief Miller began. "I know you're still working toward trying to go back to your old position at 51, but Chief Houts and I have discussed the possibility of that really happening."

Immediately her stomach dropped. Were they not going to allow her to try and return? "You don't think it's going to happen?" she asked, unsure if she wanted to know his answer.

Chief Miller lifted a hand. "Now don't panic, Gen. We're not saying you can't go back. We just know how difficult it is for someone to return after an injury like yours."

"And we want you to know you have options," Chief Houts added.

"Options?" Gen repeated.

"Yes." Chief Miller nodded. "The fact of the matter is, you're valuable to us, Genevieve. You're the first woman in our department and a lot of positive changes have come from your presence. We don't want you leaving just because of this injury."

"But if I can't be a paramedic and a fireman what can I do?" Gen asked.

"There's plenty of options for you," Chief Houts replied. "Which is why you're here. We know your recertification is about a month away and while you work toward it, we'd like for you to consider some other options."

"Such as?" Gen asked.

"Such as maybe joining our arson investigation unit. It means more training and classes, but we know you could handle it," he replied.

"Or," Chief Miller continued. "You could become the face of the department by working in public relations with Dick Friend. Having you as our spokeswoman would do wonders for the department's image."

Gen tried not to roll her eyes at that option. The last thing she wanted was to be the center of attention any more than she already had been.

"There's also work in fire prevention or becoming an instructor for our civilian first aid and CPR classes."

Gen spent several minutes considering what they offered. None of it sounded all that appealing, especially after working fire and rescue at 51s.

"What about the rumor I heard about the department creating standalone paramedic units?"

Chief Houts and Chief Miller exchanges glances before Chief Miller spoke. "That's still in the early stages of consideration. We know there is a need for standalone units who could respond to calls we know don't involve fire department rescues, like heart and maternity cases, minor car accidents and such, but we're still toying with how those calls could be vetted in order to make the units a feasible option." He shook his head. "I don't know if or when it will happen."

Disappointment wash through her. None of the other options sounded all that appealing and most likely wouldn't give her the same satisfaction she got from fighting fires and helping people. "I don't know," she murmured.

"Well, how about this?" Chief Houts offered. "While you're continuing to work toward your recertification, I'd like for you to attend some of training classes or arson investigation and spend some time in the other two departments. You can get a taste of what's involved and if by chance you can't return to 51's, then you'll have a better idea of your options. What do you think?"

Despite her disappointment she knew what they were offering her was huge. She also knew she was facing astronomical odds when it came to reaching her goal. Could it really hurt to see what other options existed?


	12. Chapter 12

Johnny was whistling when he walked into the kitchen.

"Well you're in a good mood," Roy observed.

"I am," Johnny replied as he reached for a cup and began pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"So can we assume that you and Genevieve finally made up and things can get back to normal around here?" Cap asked.

Buying a moment to get his thoughts together, Johnny lifted his cup and took a sip. He needed to be sure to word this correctly. Slowly he lowered the cup. "Not exactly, Cap."

Captain Stanley's brow knit. "What do you mean not exactly? You took her home Saturday night and you're coming in here all happy and whistling this morning. Seems to me something is up."

"We talked and we're friends again," Johnny replied.

"Just friends?" Roy asked. "How do you go from something more than friend back to a simply platonic relationship?"

Johnny sat his cup on the counter. "First of all, can't a man and woman be friends without people automatically assuming they're in some sort of relationship?"

"Sure they can," Chet agreed. "But you guys were beyond the just friends, stage. You said so yourself."

"No," Johnny corrected. "I said I thought we were too. Look-" He pointed a finger at Chet. "She wants her shot at coming back and she doesn't want to risk anything getting in that way. I want to make sure she gets that shot."

"So you two are just going to continue to dance around your feelings for each other?" Roy asked.

Johnny shook his head. "There's no dancing. We know exactly how we feel about each other and what the priorities are right now. There's no problem. I'm good."

"Well," Cap sighed as he pushed up from his chair. "As long as it's all worked out. Now onto some news." He clapped his hands together. "I got word this morning that all of Gen's doctors have signed off on her physical. However, headquarters isn't convinced she can do her job based solely on the paperwork. Therefore, they want her to to run the course at the training center. That test is set for a month from now. So keep your fingers cross."

* * *

"You ready?"

Gen looked from Chief McConakee to Captain Stanley and back. All her hard work over the past five months would come down to this one event. While Doctor Brackett had finally cleared her for duty, an injury like hers required more than just a doctor's release. Yes her shoulder had healed, but that didn't mean she could still do her job. The only way to find that out was to put her to the test.

Gen prepared her air mask and nodded. "Ready, Chief."

Captain Stanley keyed the handy talkie. "HT 51 to Fireman DeSoto. Roy you ready?"

"Ready, Cap," Roy's garbled voice carried through the little box.

"All Right," Cap began. "You know the drill. Just be careful, okay?"

Gen nodded. "I will, Cap." She slid the mask over her face, tightened the straps and put her helmet in place. As the inside of the training building was set a light she put on her gloves and just like in a real fire, followed Chet and Marco into the building. Together, they turned their hoses on the blaze while Gen made a sweep of the room, then motioned to them that she was heading up stairs.

Roy lay somewhere inside the building, feigning injuries that would incapacitate him, and waited for her rescue. All she had to do was find him. She searched each room, eventually finding Roy lying on his side near a back wall on the second floor. She rolled him as far onto his back as he would go with is SCBA on, grabbed him by his turn out coat and slowly hoisted him to his feet. Using the wall to her advantage, she braced him, then carefully scooped him up onto her shoulders. She felt the tweak in her shoulder, tried to ignore it as she position Roy the best she could. She wanted this too badly to let some small pain get in her way.

The addition of his extra weight nearly drove Gen to her knees. Knowing she was running out of time to complete her task, Gen dug deep for strength and began the arduous process of exiting the building. By the time she made it down the steps to the first floor exhaustion was setting in and her shoulder was screaming for relief. None of it mattered. This was her only shot and damn it, she wasn't going to lose it.

She pressed on and found her way out of the building. Huffing and panting she worked her way down the final set of steps and crossed over to the designated treatment area. Immediately, Captain Stanley and Mike moved in to help Roy off her shoulders. The minute his feet hit the ground, Johnny was there to remove her helmet and face mask. He shoved the canteen in her hands and then began unhooking her SCBA.

Between gasping breaths Gen gulped down the water and managed to only wince a little when Johnny pulled the straps off her shoulders. "How's the shoulder?" he asked, his face filled with concern.

"A little sore," she replied as she gently tested it. Actually, it hurt a lot more than she wanted to admit.

"Doesn't hurt to move it or anything?" His fingers were already poking and prodding over the area of her incision site.

"No it doesn't." She smacked his hand away. "So stop before you do something to make it hurt."

For a moment he gave her that 'I can't believe you just did that' look, but his hurt feelings were all but forgotten as Chief McConakee approached. "So, Conti how you feeling?"

Gen nodded. "Good, Chief. I feel good."

"Ready to do it again?"

Her heart nearly stopped at his question. She had to do it again? "A-again, Sir?"

He nodded. "Yes again. Not right now of course, but I'm sure you'll be doing this again in one of your upcoming shifts."

A slow grin spread across her face as the meaning of his statement took hold. "Upcoming shifts? Does that mean I passed?"

"Indeed, lassie. It does mean just that. You have one hour to get any last minute details in order. Then you are to report for shift at Station 51." He extended his hand. "Congratulations, Genevieve. I know how hard you've worked for this."

"Thank you, Sir."

"You're welcome." He clapped his hands together. "All right people. Let's get the site cleaned up and get back to work," he said as he turned and walked away.

Giddy, Gen practically threw herself into Johnny's arms. "I am so proud of you," he praised as wrapped her in a hug and spun her in a circle.

"Hey, Gage. How about you give the rest of us poor saps a chance to congratulate her," Marco grumbled.

Gen smiled up at Johnny as she broke contact and turned to accept Marco's hug.

"Yeah, pal, you're with her practically all the time. It's only fair we should get to hug her first," Chet argued as he tried to elbow Marco out of the way. "Move over there, buddy and give someone else a shot."

"Yeah, well you all need to move, so your Captain can give his congratulation," Captain Stanley ordered.

Before he'd managed to hug Gen, Chet stepped out of the way, making room for Captain Stanley. "I am so proud of you," he whispered against Gen's head as he wrapped her in a hug.

Tears burned Gen's eyes as she sniffled back the need to cry and murmured a soft 'Thank you.'

He pulled back and cupped her hands in his face as he grinned down at her. "Your father would be proud as hell too. Don't ever forget that okay?"

 _That did it!_

The first tear broke free as she nodded and quickly wiped at her face. "I won't forget it, Cap."

"Good. Now get your butt home, grab your gear and get your tail to the station by lunch time okay?"

Gen nodded. "Yes, Sir."

* * *

Gen made it to her apartment, gathered up her things, changed into her uniform and was back to the station in record time.

She walked through the side door into the kitchen and stopped. Balloons bobbed along the ceiling and a handmade banner hung along the far wall partially covering the chalk board. A giant cake rested on the table. Written on top of the white icing was a picture of a fire truck and the words Welcome Back Genevieve. "How did?" She glanced from one to the other. There wasn't any way they could have pulled all of this off in an hour.

"We ordered the cake and balloons the minute we had a definite date for your test," Roy offered.

Stunned, Gen looked from Roy to Johnny, then on to the others. "But you had no idea whether or not I'd pass."

Cap grinned as he cut into the cake. "As hard as you've been working? There wasn't a doubt in our mind." He handed her a piece of cake.

"Besides, with Johnny as your cheering section he would have had our heads if we hadn't done something," Chet smirked.

"Would you shut it, Chet?" Johnny grumbled as snagged some icing off her cake with his finger.

"Yo, buddy boy, get your own," Gen pulled her plate away and shot him an evil look.

"Oh come on," Chet piped up. "You'll share your bed with him, but you won't share your cake?"

Seeing through Chet's obvious dig for information Gen decided to play along. "Dessert, especially cake, is serious business and I share with no one."

He arched a brow. "So you admit to sharing a bed with him?' Chet asked.

She grinned as she forked up a piece of cake. "The not knowing for sure is just killing you, isn't it, Chet?"

Roy smiled. "For once the phantom is being played. Nice going, Gen."

"Thank you. I try." She'd no sooner finished her statement than the tones sounded. A fresh shot of adrenaline coursed through her veins as she set her plate on the table and quickly dumped her backpack to the couch before racing for the squad. She slid into her place between Johnny and Roy and reached up for her helmet and was more than a little surprised to find it there.

Not even five minutes later they came to a stop in front of a two story home with flame shooting from the roof. Gen jumped from the squad and immediately realized her mistake. Her turn out was still back at the station.

"What's wrong?" Johnny paused.

"You guys took my gear back with you. It's still at the station."

Johnny grinned. "No its not."

Her eyes widened as she pulled open the squad's compartment door and found her gear inside. She glanced back at him as she pulled her coat off the hook and punched her arms through it. "I love you."

He grinned as he donned his air pack. "I know. You ready?"

She buttoned her coat and grabbed her pack. "Ready."

Captain Stanley was already yelling orders when she skirted around the back of the squad. "Roy, cover the Southern exposure. Gen, you and Johnny take and inch and a half through the side door. Chet and Marco take an inch and a half in through the front."

Gen stepped up on the back of the engine, grabbed and arm full of hose and pulled. Pain flared in her shoulder and she made a mental note that going forward she should hook the hose with her other arm. She set out the line as Mike set up the engine to pump. "I want point," she yelled through her mask. On her first fire back she wanted to be front and center. Much to her surprise Johnny simply nodded and took his place behind her.

Moments later they broke through the side door and attacked the flames. Heat washed over her as the pop of burning wood mixed with the hissing of water hitting flame. It was damn good to be back.

Together they worked their way through the house and headed for the stairs where they met up with Chet and Marco. "Going up stairs," Gen yelled as she motioned up.

Chet nodded and waited for her and Johnny to go first. They'd just snaked around the top of the staircase when something caught her eye. She tapped Johnny on the arm and pointed to the partially closed door. "Is someone in there?"

Johnny let go of the hose and went to check. A moment later he appeared carrying an unconscious woman over his shoulder. "Check the other rooms for victims," he ordered.

Gen nodded, turned off the hose and began doing a full sweep of the house. She'd just finished checking the last room when the order came down to evacuate. Quickly she followed Chet and Marco out, her feet had barely hit the ground when a sick groan came from behind her. She turned in time to see the house partially collapse in on itself.

"What a welcome back, huh?" Chet said as he pulled off his air mask.

Gen followed suit and nodded. "Yeah. Didn't realize how much I missed this until just now."

Chet laughed. "You're sick, Conti."

Gen grinned at his statement. "Yeah, maybe I am."

"Well," Marco began. "You better not let Johnny hear you talk like that. He'll be wanting to lock you up in a safe house somewhere."

Her attention cut from Marco over to where Johnny and Roy were working on the unconscious woman. "Actually, he handled this pretty well, considering the situation." She'd half expected him to become the overprotective boyfriend and balk at her going into the building. Maybe he really did understand what it meant for her to be here.

A half hour later Gen sat in the passenger seat of the squad as Roy drove toward Rampart on their way to pick up Johnny. "Did anything back there seem unusual to you?" he asked as he made a left onto Market.

Gen looked over at him. "Other than the woman being alone in that empty old house?"

"Exactly." Roy nodded. "What was a twenty something woman doing in that old dilapidated house alone?"

"That's a very good question," Gen replied.

"Chet said the house was sparse for furniture and Cap believes based on the burn patterns that it might have been an arson fire."

Gen nodded as she drew on the few arson investigation classes she'd attended. "I could see that too. Add into the fact that that many of the windows were open and the fire was spitting out black smoke and I think Cap may be onto something."

Roy pulled into Rampart and parked. "It will be interesting to see what the investigation brings."


	13. Chapter 13

_It wasn't the same._

In the weeks since she'd rejoined the crew Gen had come to one glaring conclusion. It wasn't the same. Returning to work should have given her the satisfaction and joy she'd sought. Instead, she'd spent so much time over the last few weeks worrying about her shoulder and dealing with her secret relationship with Johnny the stress seemed nearly insurmountable.

Right now fear dictated her actions and she wasn't happy about that fact. If she went back to Doctor Brackett or Doctor Foster with her shoulder pain and they found something her chance to stay at 51's would be over. Still, she knew any soreness that came from returning to work would have passed by now. No, something was definitely going on with her shoulder and it wasn't getting any better.

In fact, just recently she'd began experiencing new symptoms which included nausea and lack of appetite. She'd just about bet it was directly connected to the pain she was hiding and the stress she was experiencing. With Johnny watching every move she made just how long could she go before he grew suspicious?

As much as she hated the idea, it was time to choose an alternate career path. But what?

Then there were the restless feel and murmurs from her coworkers. Chet had already declared his intent to take the engineer's exam again and after an injury to his knee that seemed to be continually flaring up, Marco was toying with the idea of moving over to fire police.

She picked up the manual from her arson investigation class and leaned back against the couch. Despite the delicious aroma coming from the food Johnny was cooking her stomach knotted in response. How in the world was she supposed to eat with her stomach in knots?

"Food is ready," Johnny announced. She looked up in time to see him frown. "Are you reading that manual again?"

Gen marked her page, closed the book and set it aside. Then, careful of her shoulder, she pushed to her feet and walked toward the kitchen. "Yes, I' reading that book again."

She took a plate from the cabinet and scooped up some spaghetti and meatballs before she turned back to find Johnny watching her. "You've been awful moody lately," he observed. "Now you're reading that book from your arson class, again. Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

Gen shook her head as she joined him at the table. "Nothing is going on. I'm simply intrigued by the rash of arson fires in our district and I'd like to learn more about the investigation process."

"Really?" Johnny asked as he picked up a bread stick.

"Yes, really," she shot back. "It's like piecing together a puzzle. In a way I'm sure it's fun and probably quite rewarding."

"You sound as if you're trying to convince yourself to transfer departments."

She shrugged. "May I am. I mean it's not like I can stay at 51's forever."

"But you just came back?" Johnny observed. "It's what you worked so hard for, so why are you so eager to leave?"

"I'm not eager to leave," she shot back.

"But," Johnny prompted.

"But I also don't want to be working with a bunch of new people at 51's either." What that statement was true enough, it wasn't her main reason for considering the transfer. She pointed her fork at him. "Besides you're toying with the idea of taking the Captain's exam. Why can't I explore my other options?"

"There's nothing that says you can't," Johnny replied. "But I know you've had your heart set on coming back and you've worked your ass off to make it happen. Now, all of a sudden you're ready to explore other options. It's not like you."

His continued pressure sent her stomach reeling. No way was she going to be able to eat and the last thing she wanted to do was talk. She shoved at her plate and pushed away from the table. "I don't need this inquisition." What she wanted in that moment was to be alone with her thoughts, but there wasn't many places to escape to within Johnny's apartment. While she'd admit it was definitely in a better neighborhood and in better condition, it was only slightly bigger than her own.

Wanting a moment to cool off, she headed into the bedroom and stood next to the window to look out. If she told him about her shoulder he'd have her removed from duty immediately. All she needed was a little time to figure out exactly what she wanted or at least work up the nerve to have her shoulder looked at.

While she really did find the entire arson investigation process intriguing, it wasn't the same as rescuing people and helping them in the immediate sense. It was aiding in getting fire bugs and criminals off the streets, which in a round about way helped people.

No way was she going to join fire prevention or be the spokesperson for the department. She wasn't there to be the face of the department. She was there to make a difference.

There was an outside possibility she could take the engineer's exam, but driving the truck and working with the hose would require her to have a fully functioning shoulder. Something she wasn't sure she possessed. No…at this point her choices were either arson investigation or going back to work at a hospital as a nurse.

"Hey," Johnny's soft voice slid across her mere seconds before she felt him mover her hair and plant a gentle kiss on her nape. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I know," she nearly choked on the words. "I shouldn't have gotten so upset." After all, it wasn't his fault she was in this position.

He mouthed the spot behind her ear that drove her wild. Despite her mood she could feel her body react and heat pool low in her belly. How in the hell did he do that?

"I just hate seeing you upset and I can tell something is weighing heavy on your mind. If I can help, I want to."

She leaned back against him and closed her eyes as her body began to tingle in response to his ministrations. "There's nothing you can do," she said slightly breathless now.

His hands slid around her waist, untucked her blouse and pulled. "How do you know? I can be very resourceful."

She grinned as he stripped her blouse. "True, but you can't change what's going on inside my head," she replied as she turned and mimicked his move. "For reasons I can't explain something has changed and things aren't the same as they used to be. She placed a hand on his bare chest and looked up at him. "In my mind I was convinced that going back to the station was my only option, but now that I'm there, it feels all wrong." For a moment she simply enjoyed the feel of his heart beating beneath her palm.

"Really." His brow furrowed. "With respect to what exactly?"

She shook her head. "I can't explain it. I just know in my heart it's not where I'm supposed to be now. I'm just not sure where I need to go from here."

He lowered his head and brushed his lips across hers. "Well, for the moment you're going directly onto my bed. Dinner can wait."

"Sounds like fun," she replied, not resisting at all as he slowly walked her across the room. "But it doesn't really solve my problem."

His signature grin appeared. "Baby, sex solves all problems." Faster than she could think he took her down to the bed and rolled on top of her. "I know how to solve this issue once and for all"

She rolled her eyes and grinned up at him. _Oh this is going to be good!_ "How, oh wise one?"

"Marry me."

Gen froze as his words pinged around inside her head like a super ball. She couldn't have possibly heard him correctly. "What did you just say?"

He pulled back and looked down at her, a huge smile encompassed his face. "I said marry me."

"That's what I thought you said."

"I know it's a shock, especially coming from me-"

"That's an understatement," she added.

Apparently ignoring her sarcasm he rolled right over her statement. "Look, I never thought I'd feel this way about anyone and I always said I'd never let any woman tie me down, but people change, Genevieve. Let's get married and buy a house and make it all official."

She had to be dreaming. No way had he just intentionally made her life even more complicated than it already was. "Are you crazy?"

"Crazy in love with you." He lowered his head and kissed her on the forehead, then on each cheek, then he covered her mouth with his. Heat pooled low in her belly and white hot need bloomed deep within her. Slowly he nibbled his way along her jaw and down to her neck where he mouthed her sensitive flesh. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Genevieve. Marry me."

Conflicting emotions streaked through her system as she stared up at him. As much as she wanted to say yes, taking such a big step would inevitably lead to the end of her time at 51's. Of course her time there was nearly over anyway. She only had to decide on which direction she would take her career and find a way to bow out gracefully. "How does this solve my job problem?"

"It removes the pressure of having to choose a job at all. You could stay home and I'd support us."

"Which I don't really want," Gen replied. "I mean maybe at some point I might find satisfaction in being a stay at home mother and wife, but right now I want to work. I want a career."

"Yes, but you don't have to worry about choosing the job that will make more money over the one you really want, because technically you wouldn't need either."

What she really wanted was to go back in time, and change the course of events that led her to this position. If she knew then, what she knew now, she would have insisted Cap get the salvage covers to use on those pipes. Of course that wasn't going to happen, so she'd have to figure out a way to be happy with her second choice…whatever that may be.

He brushed another kiss along her lips. "What do you say, gorgeous?"

She wanted to find a flaw in his logic, but he made sense and more importantly she found herself desperately wanting to say yes.

Even if her career was a disappointing mess, her personal life was coming together in a way she hadn't expected. "Yes." She reached up, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her. "I say yes."

* * *

 _We're almost there...just a couple more chapters._


	14. Chapter 14

It was early when Gen stumbled from the bed, headed to the bathroom and dropped to her knees. For the next few minutes she sat in the dark and retched then battled dry heaves, until a fine sheen of sweat beaded on her skin.

At some point she vaguely realized Johnny had turned on the light

Johnny stood in the doorway, his face a mask of concern as he watched. "What can I do?"

She shook her head as she leaned back and rested against the vanity. "Nothing. Just give me a minute. It will pass."

He moved in and crouched next to her. "How do you know it will pass? Has this happened before?"

"No," she shot back, almost too quickly to be believable. "I mean it's just my nerves getting the better of me."

The frown he wore deepened. "What is there to be nervous about?"

For a moment she simply stared at him with what she hoped was her best look of disbelief. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious," he replied. "What has your nerves so twisted that it's making you sick?"

"Oh I don't know." She could feel her mood turning sour, but was helpless to stop it. "It wouldn't have anything to do with my entire life changing today."

Thankfully, he didn't roll his eyes, like Gen was sure he probably wanted to. "Aren't you being just a bit dramatic?"

"Dramatic? Really?" Now it was her turn to frown. "I don't see you walking into Cap's office and telling him that you're resigning your position because you've been lying to him about only being friends with one of your partners. That in fact, not only have you been sleeping with her, but you're going to marry her."

Johnny reached over and took her hand in his. "I still don't understand why you have to have to resign your position. If you really wanted to remain a paramedic you could switch to another shift or transfer to another station."

God she wanted to tell him. She needed to tell him, but the words simply refused to form. The last thing she wanted as for him to coddle her, or worse yet, cut short the last couple of shifts she might have with the guys while her transfer goes through.

"In my heart, I know it's the right decision. That doesn't mean it's an easy decision for me. After all, this job has been my life since I joined the academy five years ago. It's defined me."

He nodded. "I understand and I'll be right there beside you when you tell cap, okay?"

She smiled up at him as a little bit of relief settled over her. "Okay."

Later that morning she took her opportunity during some down time. "Um, Cap. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, Gen. Let's head into my office."

Hands shaking and so nervous she had to fight the need to vomit again Gen stood in his office. Why was this so hard for her to say?

"So, what do you need to talk about?" Cap asked.

Before she could open her mouth the klaxon sounded. She glanced at cap, then out to the apparatus room. "It can wait," she replied as she followed him back out of his office. They could talk when she got back.

 _Station 51, Truck 18, battalion 14, structure fire. Twelve twenty six McKinley street. That's One Two Two Six McKinely. Cross street Martin. Time out ten forty two._

Gen slid into the squad between Roy and Johnny. Within seconds the squad pulled out of the station with the engine not far behind. Recently, it seemed as if their fire calls were up in comparison to their rescues. From what they'd learned apparently a fire bug was on the loose in the district, targeting abandon and deteriorating homes.

Within minutes they rolled onto the scene and her stomach tightened at the sight before them. The run down two-story home was similar to the home from a few weeks before, which meant fighting the flames wouldn't be easy.

Roy brought the squad to a stop and Gen quickly slid from the seat, she stopped long enough to assess the situation, then turned and pulled her SCBA from the side compartment.

Captain Stanley hopped from the engine and began giving orders. "Chet and Marco pull two inch and a half's." Before he could give further orders a stranger ran toward him. "There may be people inside."

"Are you sure? The house looks abandoned."

"It is, but we've seen some squatters over the past few weeks. They've been living inside. They may be in there now."

"Gen, Johnny." Cap motioned to the house. "We may have two victims trapped inside. Rescue mode and make it quick. That house isn't going to last much longer."

Gen took off toward the structure and Johnny quickly fell into step beside her. "You take the main floor," he ordered. "I'll head upstairs."

She gave a nod then stepped inside the two-story oven. Heat blasted her, causing a quick wave of nausea to slide through her system. She squashed down the need to retreat and instead advanced into the room. Flames danced along the walls and slithered across the ceiling and the crackle of burning wood filled her ears.

Johnny moved ahead of her and headed up the steps. Wasting no time, she quickly but methodically advanced through the house, checking under furniture, inside closets and in nooks and crannies. Evidence of squatters was everywhere, but she found no one. After a few minutes, she turned and headed up the stairs to join Johnny.

He met her at the top of the steps. "Two more rooms and I'm clear up here."

"First floor is clear. What room?" Gen asked.

He motioned to the last room in the back corner of the house. Take that bedroom and I got the bathroom."

Smoke billowed up from every opening making it more and more difficult to see. She shoved open the door, realized it was void of furniture or life and immediately closed it against the fire raging inside. She turned back to see Johnny waiting for her. "The room is fully engulfed. No way anyone would still be alive in there."

"Bathroom's clear too. Let's go." They barely made it to the steps when a sudden sick realization sank in. The flames fully engulfed the staircase, blocking their escape. She glanced around hoping for an alternate way out. "Front bedroom," Johnny yelled through his mask. "We can climb out onto the porch roof through the front window."

She raced into the room and watched as Johnny closed the door behind them. The first window she checked revealed a straight drop down the side of the house. She moved to the second window and looked out to find a slightly pitched roof jutting out from underneath. It only took a second for her to find the hinge and unlock the window, but when she pushed it wouldn't raise. She tried again to no avail. "No good. It's painted shut."

Johnny headed toward her but before he'd taken more than a few steps an explosion blew open the door and sent them both flying backward. Gen hit the wall with a thud and pain blossomed in her shoulder. She cried out then sank to the floor in a bid to escape the excessive heat.

If they didn't get out right now they were going to die. Ignoring the pain, she rolled onto her knees and using her good hand she crawled to the window. She slid her helmet off and again using her good hand, she smashed through the glass. Then struggled to make quick work of the shards, clearing an opening wide enough for them to escape. She glanced back. "Johnny? You okay?"

For a moment he didn't move and her heart sank as her stomach knotted. Then, slowly, Johnny rolled over and got to his hands and knees.

 _Oh thank God!_

"Let's get out of here." She reached out and grabbed him by his turn out. "Now! We have to go now."

"Go. I'm right behind you." Johnny waved her off.

She climbed out the window and breathed a sigh of relief at the cooler air. Then she reached back through the window and grabbed Johnny by the arm. Struggling to keep her balance on the pitched roof she helped pull him through to safety.

"Gen. Over here." Marco called from where he stood on a ladder. Ignoring her shoulder, she slid beneath one of Johnny's arms an*d guided him toward the ladder.

"I can make it," he argued as Marco reached for him. Marco backed down giving them space. Carefully, John set one foot, then the other onto the ladder, he looked back at Gen, his eyes slightly dazed and glassy. "You okay?" he asked.

Gen nodded. "I'm fine. Go." Actually, she was far from fine, but the last thing she wanted in that moment was Johnny's focus on her instead of getting to safety. He nodded, then started down the ladder. Once he reached the ground, Gen did her best to ease herself on to the ladder and climb down while not using her arm.

Roy was the first to reach her as her feet touched the ground. "You okay?"

She nodded. "Fine. Check on Johnny."

She followed the men over to the ambulance and sat down on the bumper as Roy began checking Johnny over. "I'm fine." Johnny protested.

"You slammed that wall pretty hard," Gen corrected.

"So did you," Johnny shot back.

"Then you can both go to the hospital and get checked out," Cap ordered.

With a sigh, Gen began stripping off her gear and froze as pain ricochet down her arm.

"I thought you said you were fine?" Roy asked.

"I thought I was," Gen replied, then hisses through her teeth as he eased her gear slowly off.

"What's wrong with Gen?" Johnny asked from where he sat on the ground looking more than a little dazed.

"It looks like she may have re-injured her shoulder," Roy said and Gen felt the tears well. There was no hiding her shoulder issues now.


	15. Chapter 15

_A short, but important chapter..._

* * *

Gen stood next to Johnny's gurney in treatment room one and watched as Doctor Brackett checked Johnny's pupil response. "Pupils are normal." He moved and began feeling around Johnny's head. "Did you hit you head against anything?"

"No," Johnny replied.

"How do you feel now?" Doctor Brackett asked as he pulled back and looked down at Johnny.

"Better. Fine," Johnny replied.

"Well, the x-rays are negative." He folded his arm across his chest. "I think you just got your bell rung."

"So he's fine?" Gen asked as relief washed over her.

"I'd say so." Doc turned to face her. "How about you?"

"How about me what?"

"How do you feel? You were in the room with him during the explosion right?"

"Yeah," Gen replied. "I'm okay." She reached for her shoulder. "Shoulder is just a little sore."

"She slammed the wall hard, doc," Johnny added. "Hard enough to cause her to cry out."

Brackett looked from Gen to Johnny and back. "Really? So, how's the movement?"

She wanted to show him it was fine, but as he took her arm and began moving it different directions to check, a sharp pain spiked in her shoulder. She grimaced and flinched, then chastised herself for not being able to deal with the pain.

"That hurt?" Brackett asked.

"A little," she replied, trying to downplay the pain.

"Did you have problems with your shoulder before the explosion?"

 _Damn!_ Why did he have to ask that question? "Some," Gen replied as she averted Johnny's gaze. The last things she wanted was to see the look on his face.

"Your shoulder's been bothering you and you didn't say anything?" Johnny asked.

Gen slid a sideways glance at him, saw the anger in his eyes. "I'm sorry, but at first I just thought it was soreness from returning to work. Then, when it didn't go away, I was afraid if I spoke up and had it looked at I'd be removed from duty again."

"Better that than to permanently disable yourself," Johnny snapped.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't say something sooner, but that was part of the reason why I was looking to transfer out of 51."

"I knew there had to be another reason," Johnny said.

"You're leaving the fire department," Brackett asked.

"I don't know," Gen replied. "Just 51 for sure. I'm considering transferring to arson investigation."

"What about coming to Rampart and working as a nurse?" Brackett smiled. "I could guarantee you a slot in Emergency if you wanted."

Gen arched a brow. The offer was tempting. "I don't know. I've put so much work and time in at the fire department I hate the idea of just throwing it all away."

Brackett once again folded his arms across his chest. "Well I hate the idea of losing one of my best paramedics. To me that's a waste of training and time." His eyes lit up. "What do you think about the idea of becoming a nurse practitioner?"

"A what?" Gen and Johnny asked at the same time.

"A nurse practitioner," Brackett repeated. "It's a trade that's been around for quite a few years, but only recently really gained acceptance." He appeared to study Gen for a moment. "With your nursing background and paramedic training you'd already be half way through the training process. Plus, administration is toying with the idea of adding a practicing nurse to the rotation here in emergency to help with some of the less serious cases."

"A practicing nurse?" Gen repeated. "So I'd be treating patients kinda like I do now?"

"Only with a bit more freedom," Brackett replied, then moved closer to her. "You think about it. In the meantime let's see about your shoulder." He began palpating the area around her scar. "On a scale of one to ten rate the pain."

Gen let out a sigh. At this point it didn't matter. She was leaving the station anyway, so why try to hide the truth anymore? "I'd say about a five or six."

He arched a brow at her answer, making her feel even worse. "I thought I could work through it," she replied

Brackett frowned. "The pain has been bad enough you thought you had to work through it?"

"Well," Gen lowered her gaze as shame coursed through her. "Yeah."

"I think we should probably get some x-rays." He turned to head to the phone, then stopped and looked back at her. "Gen, I need to ask you a personal question. I'm not prying, but I need to know…is there any chance you could be pregnant?"

Her body jerked as if he'd slapped her and her gaze zipped to meet his. "No."

"Are you sure?" he pressed.

She opened her mouth to answer, only to have Johnny cut her off. "She's been sick, Doc."

She shifted her attention from Brackett to Johnny. How could he rat her out like that?

"When?' Brackett asked.

"Just this morning before shift," Johnny answered. "She…" he paused and looked to Gen as if silently apologizing for what he was about to say. "She crawled out of bed early this morning and threw up."

"I told you I was just nervous about having to talk to Cap," she clarified.

"Talk to Captain Stanley about what?" Brackett asked.

Feeling trapped Gen shook her head and sighed. "About leaving 51."

Brackett furrowed his brow. "So was your only reason for leaving based on your shoulder?"

"No," Gen replied, a little easier this time.

Before she could finish her sentence Johnny spoke. "I asked her to marry me."

A look of shock rippled across Brackett's face. "And you said yes?"

Gen nodded.

"Well, congratulations you two," Brackett said. "However, that information tells me what I need to know. Before we do x-rays on that shoulder, I want to run some blood tests."

"You mean you want to run a pregnancy test," Johnny corrected.

"That and a few others." Brackett replied. "I just want to cover all my bases with regard to her being ill this morning."

"My being ill has to do with stress," Gen replied."

"Maybe you're right," Brackett replied. "But I'd like to know for sure. Once I have an answer then we'll see about your shoulder. So sit tight you two. We'll get the blood drawn and have an answer shortly."

After having her blood drawn, Gen and Johnny moved to the coffee room to wait for the results.

"You know," Johnny began as he eased onto the couch next to her. "We haven't been as careful as we should have been."

"I know," Gen murmured and shifted to rest her head against his shoulder. "But I've had my period and other than getting sick this morning I haven't had any symptoms."

"You haven't been eating." Johnny slid an arm around her and pulled her close. "How many times of not eating was because you felt nauseous?"

"I…" Instead of trying to defend herself she closed her mouth. He was right and at this point there was no point arguing the issue when they both knew the truth. "Everything is just moving way too fast," Gen mumbled as she closed her eyes and struggled to keep her emotions under control.

She felt Johnny press a kiss to the top of her head. "Baby, I hate to tell you this, but I think everyone would agree that this has been building for the last three and a half years. I'd hardly call that moving fast."

"Yeah, but you only asked me to marry you two days ago. I still have to tell Cap I'm leaving and now I could be…" she couldn't even say the words. In truth, the idea of having Johnny's child was more than a little appealing, but not at this stage in her life. The last thing she needed was yet another complication.

"If you're worried about how I'd react to a positive test, don't," Johnny offered.

She shifted off his shoulder to look up at him. "But you said you never wanted children."

He smiled and reached out to brush a knuckle along her cheek. "I also said I never wanted to get married, but that changed, didn't it?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

He shook his head. "But nothing, Genevieve. Look, I know neither one of us is really ready for a child, but if you are pregnant then we'll welcome the child with open arms."

"How can you be so pragmatic about this? In less than a week we've agreed to get married and buy a house, I'm switching jobs, to what I'm still not sure, and now we might be starting a family? That's a lot."

Johnny nodded. "It is, but it's not more than we can handle. You can still switch jobs because you wouldn't be able to go back to work at the station anyway. So really, nothing has changed."

"Right, nothing has changed," she mumbled. How in the world was he being so relaxed? "Johnny, I'm not sure I'm ready to be a mother." Fear started to build in earnest as the possibility began to take hold. How could she be responsible for another life when she could barely manage her own?"

"Do you think I'm ready to be a father?" Johnny asked. "Just the idea of it scares the hell out of me, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't want something we created."

"But-"

He shook his head as he turned on his hip to face her. "I love you, Genevieve and I'm with you no matter what the test results reveal, okay?"

For a moment she remained silent then nodded. After all, what choice did she have? "Okay."

Just the Doctor Brackett pushed through the door. "Well, I have some news."

"And?" Gen and Johnny asked at the same time.

"And from this point forward you're off duty at 51's."

"Because of my shoulder?" she asked though she was pretty sure that wasn't the correct answer.

Brackett shook his head. "No, Genevieve. You're pregnant."


	16. Chapter 16

Still stunned, Gen sat between Roy and Johnny as Roy drove them back to the station house. How could she have been so careless? Why hadn't she even considered the idea of being put on the pill when she and Johnny officially got involved? At the very least either of them could have purchased some condoms. Yet from that first night all she'd thought about was being with him and loving him. The night of the banquet she'd told him no more barriers and maybe somewhere deep in her psyche she'd taken that statement literally.

Careless. They'd both been careless and this was the result. Yet somewhere in the back of her mind a tiny bit of excitement simmered beneath her fear. Most women would be worried about the birth part, but after what she'd already been through, surprisingly, the thought of giving birth didn't bother her. Nor did the realization that she'd loose her lean and toned body. She'd nearly lost it before after the Barlow incident and did to a degree after Johnny's accident. It was a simple matter of fighting to get it back once the baby was born.

She'd admit that the immediate finality this situation brought to her career bothered her a little, but she'd already been planning to leave anyway. Though this pregnancy did make her career decision for her. There would be no arson investigation, no switching stations and because she wasn't interested in being the talking head for the department the decision was suddenly clear and easy.

She shivered at that thought. What frightened her was the unknown. Leaving the security of the department that she'd worked so hard to integrate herself into. Emotionally, it had become a place of safety and comfort. Now she'd have to start over, without her father's guidance or support. Deep down she knew going back to nursing would be a relatively easy transition, but she'd be working with strangers and new rules.

Thankfully, the old rules about nurses having to wear dresses only had finally been abolished, so she could at least be comfortable. Still, she wasn't interested in bathing patients and cleaning up bedpans. Which meant she'd need to talk to Brackett about being assigned to the ER and possibly further explore this whole nurse practitioner option he mentioned.

Then there was the whole becoming a mother situation. What in the hell did she know about being a mother? It wasn't as if she'd had any nieces or nephews to practice on and not once growing up had she ever dreamed about having children. Her entire focus had always been on building and maintaining a career. Without the guidance of her mother or even Johnny's mother, how would she know what to do with a baby? More so, how would she raise this child without screwing up? The immense responsibility she was about to undertake sat heavy on her shoulders.

She slid a quick glance at Johnny, who still looked as dazed as she felt. In the three and a half years she'd know him he'd been extremely vocal and adamant about not wanting children. So why the sudden willingness to change? What if he was only telling her what she wanted to hear? What if deep down, he was silently blaming her for being so irresponsible?

He turned to look at her, frowned. "I know that look, Genevieve."

"What look," she croaked.

"The look you're wearing. Whatever is running through that head of yours right now, just stop it, okay? You'll see, everything will be just fine, so stop worrying."

"You guys mind telling me what is going on?" Roy asked.

"I promise, we'll explain everything once we get to the station," Johnny replied.

Roy glanced between them nodded, but didn't say anything more.

A few minutes later he backed the squad into the bay for what would be Gen's last time. She tried not to tear up at the finality of the moment. These developments, while extremely sudden and drastic would in the end be a good thing. At least she hoped they would.

Cap appeared next to Roy's door. "Are you guys okay?"

"Fine," Johnny replied.

"Then why do you both look so daze?"

"Well, we kinda are and we need to talk to you right now."

Cap furrowed his brow. "Okay, my office?"

Gen shook her head. "No. This is something everyone needs to be present for." She turned to look at Johnny, who appeared to be ready to protest her statement. "They're going to find out eventually and they have a right to know." After all, they'd been her family for the last three and a half years. They all deserved to know directly from her and Johnny and not second hand.

For a moment he remained silent, then nodded.

"Okay." Cap motioned to the day room. "Let's meet in the day room." He gave a quick shout. "Everyone. Meeting in the day room now."

A few minutes later, once everyone was settled in Gen stood next to Johnny and looked at her crew. Wow, this was so much harder than she thought it was going to be. "Um…I'm not exactly sure where to start."

"Why not start at the beginning?" Cap asked.

"The beginning would probably be the night of the awards banquet," Johnny replied.

Cap arched a brow and Marco and Chet exchanged knowing looks.

"When I came to work that Monday, I…I wasn't completely honest when I said Gen and I were friends again," Johnny continued.

"We all knew that was code for you were dating again," Chet offered.

Gen looked from Chet to Cap, who only confirmed Chet's statement with a nod. "We didn't want to put you in an awkward position, Cap. So we decided to keep our relationship secret."

"I had a feeling it was something along those lines," Cap replied. "I figured as long as you two could work together without problem, I wasn't going to press the issue."

Gen sighed. Next to losing her father and nearly losing Johnny this had to be the hardest thing she'd ever done. "Well, when I asked to talk to you this morning it was because I was going to request a transfer."

Caps eyes widened with shock. "Transfer?" he asked even as the others voiced their protests. He waved them down. "Why, Gen?"

"Well." She glanced at Johnny then back to Cap. "We weren't going to be able to keep our relationship secret much longer."

Cap narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"Because I asked Gen to marry me and she said yes," Johnny replied.

For a moment Gen would have sworn she could hear a pin drop as a stunned silence fell over the room. The look of pure shock on their faces had Gen squirming. Were they shocked because Johnny asked or because she said yes?

"Wait." Chet held up a hand as he shook his head. "The great Johnny Gage is getting married?"

"That's right, Chet," John replied.

"I thought you were serious when you were talking marriage with that Valarie chick all those years ago, but you really are serious this time?" Roy asked. "You really asked her?"

"I did," Johnny said.

"And I said yes," Gen replied. "Which is why I was going to request a transfer to the arson investigation unit. I'd already expressed an interest with Chief McConakee, so he would have known it was coming."

"Well congratulations you two," Cap said as he pushed up from his chair and shook John's hand then gave Gen a hug. "I'm happy for both of you. Really."

"Thanks, Cap."

"I can put that transfer in whenever you're ready," he offered. "So if you wanted to say for a few more weeks, you can."

"Actually-" Gen swallowed hard as she looked to Johnny for support. "Brackett pulled me off duty. I'm not allowed to return to work."

Cap frowned. "Problems with your shoulder again?"

Gen shook her head. "Not exactly." She rubbed at her shoulder. "I mean there are problems with my shoulder, but I have a more immediate situation that is pulling me off duty."

"Which would be?" Cap asked.

"I…um…I'm pregnant." There she'd said the words out loud for the first time and boy did they sound weird.

Again, that awkward silence returned and Gen tried hard not to squirm under the stares of her co-workers. Suddenly, they all looked as stunned as she felt.

Slowly, Chet began to smile. "No way. You're not pregnant, you're both just putting us on."

"When we were in the squad, is this what Johnny was referring to when he said everything will be fine?" Roy asked.

Gen nodded as she lifted a shaky hand and raked it through her hair. "I've been sick, but I thought it was nerves because my shoulder has been bothering me and I was nervous about having to tell cap about the transfer." She force herself to look into her co-workers faces. Despite what her twisted mind was telling her, she had no reason to be ashamed. She loved Johnny and the life now growing inside her was something created from that love. It was beautiful, special and nothing to be ashamed over.

"It's not a joke, Chet," she corrected. "Brackett wouldn't do x-rays without asking the standard questions with regard to a woman in child bearing years. We answered him honestly and he decided to run a blood test. That's how we found out."

Chet's grin disappeared and the look of shock returned. "Johnny's really going to be a father?"

"Well, I don't believe it," Marco replied.

Johnny took Gen's hand in his. "I bet you'll believe it nine months from now."

"Well," Cap sighed. "I assume that despite the sudden shock you're both happy?"

Gen exchanged a tentative glance with Johnny. Was he really happy? He'd told her as much, but she couldn't help but worry. He smiled down at her, his gaze filled with happiness and love, erasing most of her worry. "Very happy," Johnny replied.

"Okay then." Cap let out a sigh. "I'll call headquarters and start the paperwork. I guess, Gen needs to clean out her locker and bunk area." He pulled Gen into a hug. "We're gonna miss you around here."

She could feel herself tearing up. "I'm going to miss working with you guys too."

Cap released her and without another work walked out of the day room. She turned to look at the others. "Questions? Wise remarks?"

They all shook their heads.

"When's the wedding?" Chet asked.

Shocked by his question she turned to Johnny. "I don't actually know. We never really talked about a date."

"Soon," Johnny replied as he pulled her close. "The sooner the better."

"Weddings take months to plan," Roy said.

"I don't want a big wedding," Gen protested. "I have no reason to have a big wedding."

"Neither do I," Johnny agreed. "But you also deserve better than some civil service."

Gen could feel the excitement bubble up as a plan slowly formulated in her mind. "I have an idea."


	17. Chapter 17

_I spent some time doing research on native american wedding ceremonies. Since we don't really know exactly what tribe Johnny is from, I used my best judgement and decided on what I thought was most appropriate. This is actually a mesh from a few different ceremonies that I thought would work well together. Please note that I do not mean to offend anyone reading this who might be Native American, so if I missed something or wrote something that wasn't completely accurate I do apologize. I hope you all enjoy._

* * *

Gen stood in front of the mirror and turned from side to side as she assessed her profile. The dress was beautiful. Made from buckskin and dyed a vivid yellow as was his tribe's tradition, it was adorned with hundreds of colorful beads and stitching. Her only stipulation had been its length and Johnny's aunt had come through. Though the actual body of the dress stopped just around her knees, the fringe hung much lower, making her feel more comfortable. She turned to the side, ran her hand down the front, over her baby bump and frowned.

Johnny's aunt Talia appeared the doorway behind her. "What's that face for?"

"Oh nothing," Gen sighed as she turned back to face the mirror. "I just wish I wasn't quite so big already."

Talia walked up behind her and began fluffing Gen's hair. "You're twenty weeks, honey. Your baby needs room to grow."

"I know," Gen stared absently at the dress. It really was beautiful, even with the bump sticking out. "I just didn't expect to be this big already. I mean if I'm showing this much already at five months, I'm going to be a freaking whale by the time I hit nine months."

"Child, you're a twig. Exactly where did you expect that baby to hide?"

Gen gave her statement a small grin. "That's nice of you to say, but I'm not a twig anymore. I haven't been since before Johnny's accident." Of course that's when she'd gotten off her rigorous exercise regimen and never completely climbed back on.

Talia stepped between Gen and the mirror, blocking her view. "What are you really worrying about?"

Gen met her gaze and sucked in a deep breath as she suddenly realized how her mind was spinning out of control again. "I…I guess I'm afraid that Johnny's going to be repulsed by all these changes to my body. I mean I'm not the same women I was before the accident."

"No you're not. You're better." Talia smiled. "My nephew loves you for more than just your body and being in the profession you're both in, you both know what happens to a woman's body during pregnancy. You're carrying his child, which in my opinion is the ultimate testament to your love for him." She took Gen's hands in hers. "Trust me when I tell you that he loves you just as much and will never, ever be repulsed by the changes this pregnancy is bringing. You're beautiful and vivacious and you're going to make a wonderful wife and mother. So stop worrying and enjoy this day." She squeezed Gen's hands. "Your day."

Hormonal and emotional, Gen struggled to hold back the tears. She didn't want to ruin the makeup job Elder Greywolf's daughter had worked so hard to get just right. "Thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome," Talia smiled. "Now how about we get your finishing touches on so we can get this wedding under way? At this point I'd bet Johnny is getting impatient."

Gen smiled as she thought about Johnny. He'd been impatient for this day almost from the moment they'd decided on having a traditional tribal wedding and picked a date. She watched as Talia eased the head band onto her hair. Adorned with flowers along the front and feathers hanging from the sides and back it really did complete the look. "I love it."

Talia smiled. "So do I." She sighed as she stared at Gen. "You have no idea how happy I am right now. I knew when Johnny brought you up here the first time you two would eventually reach this point."

Gen smirked. "Apparently you and everyone else. I think Johnny and I were the only two who didn't have a clue."

"Well, you know now and that's all that really matters."

Gen nodded. "Yeah, I guess it does." She reached for the bouquet of wildflowers resting on the table. "I think I'm ready."

"I know you're ready," Talia replied.

As they made the short walk to the ceremonial grounds Gen's nerves began to dance with anticipation. Having this ceremony had ended up being a hard sell with Johnny. She'd seen the excitement in his eyes the moment she mentioned it, then watched the sadness return as he rejected the idea. It was then she began to understand she wasn't the only one battling demons. His fear of being ridiculed seemed to outweigh his own desires.

Only she was determined to give him what they both wanted, despite the fall out. She'd had to do some hard talking in order to make this happen, but when he'd finally agreed, she'd seen the happiness return to his eyes and knew she'd made the right decision. Only now that the day was here she began to worry. What if Cap and the crew didn't show? Getting permission to grant outsiders access had been another hard sell, but not having their crew…their extended family and friends here wouldn't have been right. Now she only hoped they all actually showed up or she was sure Johnny's insecurities would return again.

As they crested the hill and the grounds came into view, her worries dissolved when she spotted her crew from 51's. Much to her amazement even Chet had come. A few feet away stood Dixie and Doctors Brackett and Early. Absently, she wondered how they'd both managed to get off today. Then she spotted Johnny standing under the arbor. Dressed in buckskin pants and a shirt that matched her dress color and style, he looked so handsome.

He turned his head in her direction and she noted how he jerked as if in shock, then a smile immediately bloomed on his face. Warmth flowed through her as she met his gaze and walked toward him. Every time her mind would start spewing nonsense and question his love all she had to do was see him to know how wrong she was.

She approached, smiled at him as she took her place, then turned to face Elder Greywolf. "Family, friends and invited guests, it is now time to begin the ceremony," he said.

Gen watched as another of the Elders stood and walked to the edge of the ceremonial circle. The drums began to beat and he started to chant as he moved in a pattern around the edge of the circle, smoke rising from the bowl he carried.

"For our invited guests who may not understand our ceremonies we will explain what is happening as we go along," Elder Greywolf said. "Right now our shaman, Elder Runningdeer is purifying the circle by chasing away the negative spirits with sage."

A strange feeling of peacefulness settled over Gen as she watched him complete the circle. Deep in her heart she knew she'd made the right decision in pushing Johnny for this ceremony. Not only was it an important part of his heritage, but it just felt right.

"Now that the purification process is complete, we will begin the ceremony." Elder Greywolf nodded and four of the tribesmen, adorn in traditional dress took up places at the North, South, East and West of the circle. "We now call to the gods to hear us and open their hearts to this couple, Genevieve Angelina Conti and John Roderick Gage as they join not only their lives and but their souls as one."

One after another the horns sounded and for the first time Gen noticed that the clouds present earlier in the day had disappeared, which meant as the evening progress, the full moon would be present. When the tribesmen returned to their seats, she turned her focus back on Elder Greywolf.

"As part of our traditional fire ceremony, the bride and groom will move to their designated fire circles where they will burn something that represents some aspect of their past they would like to rid themselves of before joining as one. This is done in silence and is kept between the bride, groom and the gods."

Gen moved to stand before the small circle. The ring lit and Elder Greywolf's daughter handed Gen the paper she'd used to journal her past regrets and heartaches. Gen held the paper, which was tied to a batch of sweet grass. She looked to the heavens then across to Johnny where he mimicked her moves, then down into the small pit of fire. Funny, she thought as she tossed the paper and sweet grass into the flames, how it had been fire that originally brought them together and it would be fire that would now bind them for life.

"Now they will send to the heavens a prayer request for their future, along with an offering to the gods."

Gen took the next paper, this time tied to tobacco and repeated the process. Once the paper disintegrated in the flames she returned to her place under the arbor with Johnny.

Elder Greywolf lifted his hands to the heavens and began chanting in their native language. Gen had no idea what he was really saying, but listening to him was awe inspiring. She understood he was speaking with the gods and offering a prayer for their marriage to always be happy, fertile and strong. As he finished he nodded to a tribeswoman who stood nearby. She moved forward, opened a box and knelt between the couple.

"With respect to the white man's tradition, the bride and groom will now exchange rings as a symbol of their never ending love and bond to each other."

With a shaky hand, Gen reached into the small box and removed the ring. It was the first time she'd actually seen their wedding bands, as the Council of Elder's insisted on providing the rings as their gift to the couple. Fascinated by the beauty of it, Gen held Johnny's band and studied the intricate pattern of leaves carved into the silver band. Down the center, appeared to be a small vein of gold made to look like a vine that did not end.

Johnny offered his left hand and smiled down at her as she slid the ring on his finger. "You're my best friend, my confidant, and my hero." Gen choked as tears blurred her vision. "I am who I am today because of you and I promise to love and honor you forever."

She then offered her left hand and watched as Johnny reached into the box and removed her ring. He smiled as he stared down at her. "I knew the moment you walked into my life that you were my soulmate. You've saved my life, not only physically but spiritually. Without you I am incomplete and I promise to love and protect you forever."

A tears broke free and trickled down her cheeks, but she didn't move, didn't break her gaze with him. Would she ever be able to show him just how much he meant to her?

"The couple will now join their fires to become one," Elder Greywolf announced.

Gen released Johnny's hand and moved back to her circle. She took the bundle of dry grass, touched it to her flames, then moved to the larger center circle. She waited for Johnny to join her and together they released their bundles into the large circle. In an instant, flames whooshed up and began licking the sky.

"At this time I ask anyone who wants to offer their prayers or good wishes to bring their written wishes to the center flame." Johnny's Aunt Talia was the first to step forward. She folded her paper and tossed it into the flames, then walked back to her seat. Several of the Elders and tribesmen and women followed. Elder Greywolf nodded to their crew. "Invited guests. You were given paper when you arrived and directed about this part of the ceremony. If you wish to make an offering of a prayer or good wishes you may do so now."

Captain Stanley and Emily were the first to stand and make their way to the fire, followed by Roy and Joanne, then slowly the other filed in. Gen arched a brow and grinned up at Johnny as even Chet made his way to the flames and tossed in his paper. John reflected her smile.

Elder Greywolf stepped forward. "These two individuals have decreed their intentions to become one, they are now one body, one unit, one sipirt. Two individuals no longer exist." He nodded to the same tribeswomen who'd aided Gen and John in their ceremonial burning. The women moved in with buckets of water and doused the flames in the smaller circles.

Elder Greywolf lifted his hands to the heavens. "Family, friends and honored guests, I now give you Mr. and Mrs. John Gage."

A cheer went up around the circle and from somewhere behind Gen music began to play. She turned to face Johnny and felt her heart jump as he lowered his head to her. "I will love you forever," he whispered then took her mouth a kiss that conveyed just how much he meant those words.

* * *

 _I know some of you are going to be sad to hear this, but that's all folks..._


	18. Chapter 18

_I heard those of you who asked for more..._

* * *

Gen closed the text book, tossed it to the other side of the bed and let out a sigh. Feeling restless, she flipped off the covers and did her best to roll herself out of bed. She'd heard women talk about the joys of pregnancy and even experienced quite a bit of it herself, but at this stage she just wanted it to be over.

For a moment, she sat staring out the window as she thought aback on the last seven months. Finding out she was pregnant had been shock enough, but then to find out she was already well into her third month nearly floored her. Other than a little nausea, she hadn't experienced any symptoms.

Still, reality didn't really set it until she'd started to show. Then she'd felt the baby move and suddenly her entire world shifted. Suddenly, she found herself consumed with this tiny invader taking up space inside her body and would do absolutely anything to protect it. After falling in love with Johnny, she hadn't though it possible to love anyone more. Oh how wrong she was. How was it even possible for love to exist in so many different forms?

She smiled at the shiny new swing set sitting in the yard. It hadn't been long after Johnny felt the baby move for the first time that she'd come home from class one day to find John and Roy assembling the set. He'd been so excited about buying it she'd hadn't had the heart to tell him their little one wouldn't be able to use it for at least a year, if not longer. While in reality she was sure the time would pass quickly, right now she felt as if every day was a year. As fast as her world seemed to be spinning in the last nine months, now it was as if it slowed to a snail's pace while she waited for her little alien to arrive.

Absently she glanced at the clock. Johnny would have arrived at work by now. He only had a few more shifts until Captain Monroe on 51's B shift retired and Johnny would move into his new position as Captain.

 _Captain Gage!_ Gen grinned at that thought as she slowly pushed up from the bed, then waddled her way down stairs to the kitchen. Not long after they'd learned she was pregnant he'd decided to take the Captain's exam the next time it came up. For months he'd studied alongside her while she worked her way through the classes she'd need to complete to become a nurse practitioner.

She poured herself a glass of juice, then opened the back door and stepped onto the porch. For a moment she simply enjoyed the view. Somehow they'd been in the right place at the right time and found this place the day it went on the market. The last house on a winding road, the two story farm house sat right on the outskirts of one of the many national parks in the area and came with a breath taking view. _Thank you Dad!_ She looked to the heavens and smiled. With the money from the sale of her father's house they'd been able to afford this place. Sometimes it still amazed her how he could be gone, yet still somehow be there for her.

While they did have neighbors, the closest house was several hundred feet up the road. It really was the perfect spot. Within days of moving in, Johnny had the rest of the crew over and they'd trimmed back the foliage from the house, then created a fire break around the perimeter of the property. Thankfully his safety measures didn't take too much away from the peaceful beauty.

A sudden tightening in her belly caused her to nearly drop her glass. _Damn these Braxton Hicks contractions!_ She'd been dealing with the fake labor pains for several weeks now. In addition, the baby had shifted and now appeared to have taken up residence over her bladder. Between needing to go to the bathroom constantly and her back hurting, she'd had enough. Only, it wasn't time. She still had three weeks to go before her due date.

Giving up on the peace and tranquility of nature, she returned inside, drank her juice and placed the glass in the sink. God she was so tired. Last night her back hurt worse than normal and she'd spent the entire night tossing and turning. Now she was miserable and cranky.

 _Stay focused on the end goal!_ Foregoing the idea of watching some television, she instead made her way back up stairs. She had more studying to do.

Thanks to her previous paramedic and nursing training, she'd been able to test out of several classes and had not only caught up, but accelerated past the other six students in her class. In three more months she'd graduate and once she did she'd become the first nurse practitioner working emergency at any of the hospitals in Los Angeles County. Plus she'd be doing it at Rampart.

Somehow she'd fallen into another first situation and this one felt nearly as good as the last. While she did miss the fire department and the adrenaline rush that came from fighting fires, she knew that at this point in her life this is where she belonged. As it turned out, returning to the department in any capacity that required maximum use of her shoulder wouldn't have happened anyway.

Once Doctor Foster finally assess her shoulder he discovered an excessive build-up of scar tissue around the repair site, limiting her mobility and causing her pain when she tried to do more than what the joint was physically capable. Doctor Foster believed it was probably caused by a combination of the double surgeries she endured and the post-surgical infection she contracted. Either way, it would have required yet another surgery to repair, with no guarantee of results.

While her chapter with the department was over, she'd recently learned another woman had just completed training and two more would be in the next training class. Though she hadn't been able to manage a full career in the department, it did make her feel good to know she had opened the door for other women to achieve that goal.

Maybe she'd be able to do something similar with her new endeavor. Of course that would come once the baby was born. A small smile tipped her lips as she paused to assess the baby's room. While Johnny finished painting it a few weeks ago, he only completed assembly of the crib yesterday. After he'd found Gen on the floor trying to read the directions and do it herself.

Oh boy had he been mad. _Would you stop with all this cleaning and working you've been doing today and rest? You're in no condition to be crawling around the floor. I'll do that, now let me help you up._ What she couldn't make him understand was how restless and uncomfortable she'd been feeling. Even now she felt off, but couldn't quite pin point why.

She closed the door to the baby's room and made her way back to their master bedroom. Unable to focus on anything for any period of time, maybe she would take a nap instead. After all, she'd been up half the night tossing and turning. First she should go to the bathroom. Then maybe she could steal two hours before needing to go again.

Every movement she made seemed slow and exaggerated and her aggravation increased as she completed her task, then turned to look at herself in the mirror. Man, she looked tired. How in the world could Johnny possible call her beautiful when she looked like this?

Another cramp hit and she braced herself against the counter as she waited for it to pass. Once it did, she turned to walk out of the bathroom and had managed only a single step when liquid trickled down her leg. A little at first, then more and more until a wet puddle formed around her feet. _Oh my God!_

Gen stared blankly at the clear fluid while her mind struggled to accept what she saw. Before she could force herself to move, the next contraction came, and without the cushioning bag of fluid in the way, the pain blossomed. A groan tumbled from her as she leaned against the sink. How in the hell had she been in labor and not known it?

Once it passed, she glanced at the clock, then forced herself to move. Knowing she had a limited amount of time before the next one hit, she cleaned herself up, then changed her night gown, grabbed a couple of clean towels and headed for the bed. She'd just spread the towels on the bed when the next contraction started. Even as she struggled to breathe through the pain her attention focused on the clock. _Five minutes? Holy crap!_

As the next contraction passed and she scrambled for the phone. If she didn't get help soon, she could end up having to deliver this baby by herself. With shaky hands she dialed the station's number. "Station 51, Fireman DeSoto speaking."

Thank God they weren't out on a run. "Roy, it's Gen."

"Hey, Gen. What's up? You need to talk to Johnny?"

"No," she gasped at the beginning of yet another contraction. No way had it been five minutes already. "I need help."

"What's wrong?" Roy's asked, his voice now filled with concern.

"I'm in labor," she ground out.

"What? Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure," she snapped. "My water broke and my contractions are about five minutes apart."

"Okay, okay," Roy replied. "Just practice your breathing and try to relax. We're on our way."

Before she could urge him to hurry, the line went dead. She hung up the receiver and staggered her way back to the bed. _Please get here soon!_

At least two more contractions passed before she heard the sirens in the distance. Just as the next one began the sound of the front door opening and Johnny's shouts filled the house. "Genevieve!"

"Up here," she yelled back only to have her words slid into another groan. While she knew labor and childbirth wouldn't be easy, she had expected to at least be in the comfort and safety of the hospital when it happened.

The sound of footsteps on the stairs filled the air, then Johnny burst through the bedroom door. "How close are the contractions?" he asked as he dropped to his knees next to her.

"Nearly on top of each other now," she replied then watched as Johnny and Roy exchanged looks.

"Up to you, Junior," Roy said.

For a moment Johnny appeared to consider his options, then another contraction had her crying out.

"You do it," Johnny said as he eased onto the bed next to Gen.

Roy nodded, then moved to the foot of the bed, where he opened the OB kit. "Gen, I'm gonna check you."

She nodded. "Just do it before the next contraction hits."

Quickly he pulled the blankets up and she closed her eyes as she tried her best to relax. "I'm going to check for dilation," Roy said right before she felt his fingers press against her. She thought about all the times she'd done the same thing when on a labor and delivery call and had wondered how she would have felt if she'd been on the other end. Now that she found herself on the opposite side, she was thankful it wasn't a stranger between her legs.

She reached for Johnny's hand and stifled a grimace as Roy checked to see how far along she was. He pulled back and smiled at Johnny. "I hope you're really ready for this, because you're about to become a father."

For a moment Johnny's expression blanked, then a slow grin slid across his face. "No time for the hospital?"

Roy shook his head. "I can feel the top of the baby's head." He turned his attention from Johnny to Gen "You ready?"

She shook her head as tears pricked her eyes. She still had studying to do and laundry to finish and oh wow…was she really ready to be responsible for a tiny, helpless person? "No…no…no…it's too soon. I'm not ready."

Johnny squeezed her hand. "Sure you are. You've been saying for weeks that you're ready."

"Saying it and meaning it are two different things," she gasped as a new and strange feeling overwhelmed her. "Oh God, I feel…I feel weird."

"Weird how," Johnny prompted.

"Like I…I think I have to push."

"Then push, Gen." Roy urged. "Let's get your little one here already."

For the next ten minutes she pushed, groaned and fought against the pain. A fine sheen of sweat covered her skin as she leaned her head against Johnny and gasped for breath. "This is so much harder than I expected," she murmured.

Johnny kissed her temple. "I know, baby, but you can handle it."

"It hurts," she replied, her entire being focused on the burning sensation between her legs. After all the pain she'd suffered over the last few years, she knew she could handle childbirth. Now that the moment was here, she wasn't so sure.

"I know, it does, but it will be over soon," Johnny soothed.

"The head is almost out," Roy said. "Come on, Genevieve. Give me another good push."

Digging deep, Gen tensed and on the next contraction she pushed through the burning. For a moment her vision tunneled as the sudden flash of pain overwhelmed her. Despite her best efforts not to, she let out a scream.

"One more," Johnny urged as he craned his neck to see. "The head is out. Just one more push, sweetheart, then it's all over."

 _One more?_ Knowing she didn't have a choice and wanting her suffering to end, she gave the next push everything she had. The pain blossomed, then on a pop was gone. Relief swamped her, just as a high pitched, fitful cry filled the room.

"It's a girl," Roy announced and vaguely Gen noted the cheers coming from the hallway even as Roy placed the baby on her chest.

"Hi," she whispered in awe a she stared into her daughter's eyes. "I'm your mommy." For a few glorious seconds her worlds seemed to stop as she worked to wrap her mind around the moment. She was a mother and Johnny… Gen glanced from the baby to Johnny. An awe filled smile claimed his face, his eyes glassy. He reached out and caressed the back of his daughter's head. "She's beautiful," he whispered, then turned his gaze to meet Gen's. "Just like her mother." Slowly, he lowered his head and pressed a soft kiss against Gen's lips. "You did great."

"Thank you," she whispered, then motioned to the baby. "Do you want to hold her?"

The distant sound of a siren infiltrated the room and she knew the ambulance would be here soon, breaking the serenity of the moment.

Johnny's smile widened and he grabbed a baby blanket, wrapped it around his daughter and eased her into his arms. "I can't quite believe she's here and she's really ours."

"Me either." Gen raked a hand through her sweaty hair as she painted the scene before her to memory.

He turned his head and looked back at her. "Thank you."

Her brow knit with confusion. "For what?"

"For walking into my life. For being my friend. For falling in love with me." He paused and looked down at his daughter. "For giving me everything I ever wanted, even if I didn't know it at first."

Still hormonal, she felt the lump form in her throat as formulated a reply. Before she could say anything, a knock pulled Gen from the moment. She turned her head to see Cap standing in the doorway. "Can we come in?"

Gen couldn't help but grin. "Please. Come on in."

Hesitantly, Cap, Chet and Marco made their way into the bedroom. They moved closer to the bed and smiles broke out on their faces as they stared at the newborn now settled in Johnny's arms. "She's gorgeous," Marco offered.

Chet shook his head. "I still can't believe Johnny's a father."

"Me either," Johnny grinned.

"What's her name?" Cap asked.

Gen looked from Cap to Johnny. They'd spend hours going over baby names, trying to find just the right one. "Well?" she asked.

"Olivia Aiyana Gage," Johnny replied. "Olivia after Gen's mom. Aiyana after my mother."

"It's perfect," Cap replied.

"She's perfect," Johnny corrected.

Gen thought about the promise she'd made to her father on his death bed, then about how far she'd come and everything they had planned for their future. At this point the past was finally behind them and there was no need to ever look back. "And she's just the beginning."

* * *

 _That's really it this time. There's no more to tell. Thank you all for following, favoriting and reviewing. To those who enjoyed it, I'm glad you did and I'm glad I was able to see it through. To those who hated it, we'll...I'm sorry it wasn't to your taste. However, I did make it clear from the beginning this was a romance. If you read it anyway, remember, you chose to read it and I do thank you reading, but I won't apologize for writing the story I wanted to write._

 _That's all folks!_


End file.
